I Pray You.

i don't understand.
i don't get why
i'm saying things for
no good reason.
why i do things
i never would before.
why i'm changing
without any control.
maybe i just don't
want to be
the sad little bitch
that i was before,
but i can't control anything.
i say things,
and wonder,
why did i say that?
i'd never say that in the past,
i think things,
which i won't even hesistate
to avoid thinking
a few months back,
my friends thought
that you were a bad influence on me,
and now,
more and more people are,
i dunno what to trust now,
i notice little things
that no one really
bothers about.
i just don't want to live like this,
it's stupid.
it's petty and stupid,
and human nature-ishly irritaing,
screw human nature,
I JUST DON'T FREAKIN UNDERSTAND
AND NO ONE WILL EXPLAIN TO ME WHY.