Artic Thistles

I touch the fire and it freezes me.
I look into it and its black.
This isn't real, but I just wanna feel.

slap me now.
cause in about 4 hours and 45 mins,
i'll be a new person.
i'll get out of my black hole,
and smile.

IKEA

ee-kay-yeh
ai-kee-yeh
ee-kia


no one really knows.

tell me.

so now,
i'm a girl trying to change.
because i owe it to myself,
and everyone else,
that i can be something different.
something,
so much more.

and i'm sorry if you laugh at me,
or make fun of me.
cause that's your loss of letting go
of the disgusting me.

and here i am,
shedding off
what i was,
and changing into something
that grey person.
that grey person
with the yellow umbrella.
or the grey person
with the puple top.
i'll be the grey person.
no characteristics.
nothing special.
just me.

so tell me,
do you want to help or not?

say quote

i guess i did swear alot
on sat.
more then i usually do actually.
i thought since hey,
you guys are ok with it,
everyone should be too.

they don't realise i'm only joking.
2 years people.
2 years of going through
the most dramatic changes of my life.

i'm really sorry if i changed for the worst.
i've been manipulating.
into different bodies,
characteristics, more like.

i know i should do things.
but there's that-
no.
there's nothing.
no more excuses.
i will not swear from this day forward.
i will not bitch about people.
i will not hate anyone
who doesn't deserve it.
i will not start blogwars again.
i will be a better person.
a better,
happier person.

now,
screw off.

I Get It.

why am i letting so many people influence me?
i had so many good friends,
that i just threw away in a flick of my hand.
i don't want to hear you talk about them,
because i have the choice of who will remain as my friend.
and who doesn't.

at the beginning of the year
i had friends,
friends
from different classes.
friends that if i turned a corner,
i knew they would be there
so i could talk to them,

and i threw everything away.
i stopped hanging out with them,
and i stopped talking to them.
and my friends got lesser and lesser.
who could i really count on?

who can i really count on now?
i want to have the friends that i had 12 months ago.
the weekly dose of pepper lunches.

enough.
i am my own person.
I WILL NOT LET ANYONE RUN MY LIFE.
I WILL BE HAPPY.
I WILL NOT LET WHAT YOU SAY AFFECT MY DECISIONS.
i will be happy.
i will be happy.
finally.
i will have a mind of my own.








period.

The Awesomes

simple.
that's how it's supposed to be.
on some level,
it just has to be simple.
you can't struggle with the errands.
you have to be willing to do the things.
willing to sacrifice.
easily.
that's how it is with the person you love.
simple.

Belly Full Of Turkey.

will i stay this way forever?
sleepwalk through my life's endeavor.

i've woken up.
sobered up.
freshened up.

yes at 3 in the morning,
i'd probably be able to do PE.
and i'll probably wake up at 11.

i've got to stop napping.
but the comfort of my soft pillows
and terribly tempting.

also,
the temptation of the
chocolate cake in my fridge
is driving me nuts.

damn it that christmas has
to be right when school is about to start.
i know i have to start jumping and stuff.
but i'm just full of excuses.

and yah,
i've got to focus.
stop being emotional
with the petty things going on around me.
this time,
i have to study.

god,
i bet no one's gonna believe me.

hey.
here is me saying
that one day.
i'm going to be rich.
and
married to a very handsome
and preferably rich guy.
that lives in england.
or america.
and i'm going to be a success.
and i'll be really slim.
and rich.

no. 0149

if someone is a homosexual,
who are we to blame them?
it's in them.
it's their hormones.
how are we able to change how
they were born?
and why is everyone so
discriminating?

Afraid of The Seven Dawrfs.

Well, only doc. I mean the guy went to medical school. What's he doing living with 6 coal miners?

Let's Go To The Mall

falafel.

FALAFEL.

*sniggers*

Creation

on a cold christmas day,
what do you wish most for?
love?
hope?
faith?
friendship?
family?

why don't you ask for happiness?
all things come in a cycle,
maybe you didn't get something,
because you have to wait,
happiness needs time,
and effort,
and patience.

Eggnog

christmas is for
staying home,
and pigging out.

and then regretting.

Karma

a clever person makes a mistake
and learns from it,
a wise person observes another's mistake
and learns from that.

for everything is connected,
and that is why i change,
because what i did is wrong,
and selfish,
and it suddenly dawned on me
if i carry on like this,
i going to fail in life,
because she said,
the happiness you feel,
will reflect on your face.

The Second Sunday of Every May.

for their love is eternal,
unconditional,
they protect us with every fibre in their being,
they always put our happiness before theirs,
and their love for us starts,
right from the beginning.

Gone

You've cut your hair.


The little things you notice,
can be the little things that make a person know you care.
acknowledge the changes,
and tell them how you feel,
make it sound nice,
tone is all it takes.

Wrecked

But I mean, if you could be, you know, plain old hag or super woman, who would you be?



the hardest thing rebound from is addiction,
the toughest thing to refrain from is power,
the worst thing to give up on is yourself.

Smashed

Responsible people are so concerned with being good all the time that when they finally get a taste of being bad, they can't get enough.

they talk about the things in life that matter,
for a blunt girl who doesn't understand anything at all,
at least she can understand life,
which is more than i can say for most of us.

Apollo

the sun that shines,
brightly,
brings joy.

while the rain is despised,
cold,
cruel.

but we often forget,
that the rain,
brings the hope,
that all our troubles,
will one day be washed away.

Burned

so i have been singing my whole life,
maybe i stopped because,
because there are only so many songs
in the world,
so i stop singing
and wait for,
that's it,
i don't know
what i'm waiting for.

screw inconsiderate people.




i touch the fire and it freezes me,
i look into and it's black,
why can't i feel?
my skin should crack and peel.
i want the fire back.

Shoot, Shag, Marry

no matter how much
you despise or
hate or
avoid being
a hypocrite,
you will always be one.