No. 3 Foundation

i'm putting on a costume.
i'm putting on a mask.
i can't get over it,
i'm trying,
i'm really trying.
i should shut up,
and stop complaining.

i'm not tired.
i know i'm not,
i don't know
what the hell is wrong with me,
i know being tired is just an excuse.
i don't know what's affecting me,
i don't like it.
i don't like
not knowing what's wrong.
i hate it,

i hate it that
i'm lying.
i hate it that
i'm selfish,
and immature,
i'm not thinking properly,
i know that.
this is like,
a dream or something.
or a really bad
hangover i can't snap out of.

can you just tell me things will be alright?
i know i'm quieter,
compared to you guys,
i don't feel left out.
i don't.
i really don't.
or do i?
am i lying?
without even knowing it?
am i going psycho?
am i real?
am i just some figment of an imagination?
am i screaming?
do you notice?
am i dreaming?
am i singing?
is it a sad song?
maybe i'm really tired,

can you just hold me,
and tell me,
it'll be ok?