ahahahahahahahah

PLEASE DO NOT MAKE ME USE AN EMOTICON.

Change.

i wonder what i'll be 10 years from now,
5 years ago,
i probably asked myself
what i would be,
5 years from now.
would have loads of friends.
would i be popular.
would i be going to a good school.

now,
i see people,
their lives,
their blogs,
and wonder,
would i be like them,
if i took a different path?

they look happy.
well,
they always do,
annoyingly so.
with their little emoticons
at the end of every freaking sentence.

how they would underline
and italics
and bold
and color
shoutouts
like happy birthday,
say it to them in person.
it's called sincerity,

i'm different.
i don't put emoticons.
i don't wish alot of people happy birthday.,
i'm not popular.
i'm not always
annoyingly
happy.

i dare to say something.
i dare to spell it out.

so it voices down to this.
i'm different.
i've made mistakes.
i ponder over things.
i know more than
i probably should.
i think to much.
i'm not popular.
i have good friends.

am i happy?

am i happy?






will i finally be able to answer that question?

no. 0106

sometimes cheating's much easier.
it's better,
cause there's a reason for not talking.

Robin Scherbatsky

You're gonna make a damn good nun.

All I Want For Christmas Is

Chocolate with Popping Candy.
Buffy Dvds (you can just tell me where to get them.)
Teal Hoodie with Zip.
Lose 5kg.(a girl can dream.)
Loads Of Money.
Bags Of Marshmallows.
New Bag.(Preferably not white)
New Purse.
Buffy Comics.
Accessories.
Money.
MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT.

Not Keychains.
Not Stuff Toys.
Not Things I'll Never Use.
Not Face Shop Nail Polish.
Not Cards.
Not You.
Not Clothes.

Chocolate with Popping Candy

nothing better.

Brunch

why did you have to throw your magnificent calves at me?
you know you have a punter's leg.

well, why did you have to throw your beautiful boobs at me?
you know you have,
boobs.

just admit it. you came here trying to seduce me.

seduce you? you seduced me.

you sat down next to me and took most of your pants off.

you went to San Fransisco for three months.

how was that seducing you?

well, it's not. but i'm still mad about it.

Deep Breaths.

i'm fine.it's just this roll is really spicy.

no. 0100

1 month and 5 days.

so of the many things i've been in life,
from the
carefree lame-o,
to the
emo lame-o.

from the
happy school girl,
that everyone liked,
to the
bitchy school girl,
that not everybody liked.

from the
confident friend,
to the
self conscious stranger.

from the
psycho
to the
therapist.

you know what,
i'm just 14.
i have to start a life,
that doesn't end up
with me solving
other people's problems,
but me solving my own.

not being tired
all the time,
and concluding
that i got tired,
for all the wrong reasons,
having no accomplishments.

so how was the trip you may ask.
i found out more than i wanted to.
i realised more than i wished i had.
i have to live my life now,
not as much as paradise there,
but i got pulled out of it again.
i know everything's the same,
or i feel it should be,
but i feel,
i don't know,
weird,
different,
changed.

i say things,
i do things
that i don't understand.
i feel like i'm drunk again,

why am i saying these things?
why am i feeling these things?

i used to be the person who would
say fine
and ok
to anything you wanted me to do.
anything anyone wanted me to do.
i was willing to do so,
and i was happy,

selfless.

now,
i don't,
i wouldn't want to walk
a bit more,
because that meant
I had to walk home alone,
and that you would
have the convenience.
what's become of me?
why am i acting this way?
i don't want to change.
yet,
i know it can't be avoided,
and also,
i want to stay the same,

what will become of me?
will i be the person
who people despise?
or the person
that will be loved?
or like her?
desperate?
attention-seeking?
aloof?
irritating?
self-pitied?
or confident?
happy?
well-loved?

will i be alone?

Breakout Face of The Year

goes to me.
i miss my
pre-sydney face.

Jennifer Love Hewitt.

Love like your heart's never been broken,
Live like there's no tomorrow,
Dance like no one's watching.

Phone Call

All you can do is give a little respect,
not like you earned anything,
why is it that you get help,
don't say it like you deserve it.

no. 0096

i was truly scared
until you talk to me,
alone.

Inspired by E.P.tarzan.

sayonara,
so long suckers,
adios,
EFF OFF.






'til thursday darling chickens

Bad Days

when life gives you lemons,
make lemonade.

Name 5 words starting with "Bi"

Bicycle.
Bicoastal.
Bisexual.
Bivocal.

er...


BUY NEW SHOES!

no. 0092

i'm happy.
i truly understand now,
that that's all that matters.

Comeback

i have to remember
that everyone has flaws,
that everyone is selfish,
that we are all still human.

i'm 14.
i feel alot older than that.

i've complained,
about me being fat,
and ugly.

but i have to be happy that i'm normal.

my legs are fat,
i have 2 legs to run,

my tummy has tires,
i have a stomach to do sit-ups,

my face is ugly,
i have a smile that can make me happy,

i'm normal,
that can make me,
that much more,
extraordinary.

The Harsh Light of Day.

it's raining,
to give hope
to the people
who want their problems
will be washed away.

it's night,
to give peace
to the people,
who had a bad day,
and let them rest,
for a better day.

it's cold,
to cool down
the people,
who are fuming,
who need to chill.

it's funny,
how bad things have a good side to them.

Unwanted Unhappiness

so i've been pondering
that there may have been
a mistake,
being paranoid about
something that
i should be very happy about,
maybe i'm scared that,
if i screw up,
everything will go down the drain.
why can't i understand,
that,

hey,
i did it.
this was,
and is
what i wanted from the start,
if i continue to think,
and be paranoid about
what others think,
i'll really screw up,

she said i was in.
that means,
i AM in.
she picked me,
cause i stood out.
and i have to do my best,
to show her,
she picked me
for the right reason.

all i have to do now
is give up fast food.