Joss

This isn't some fairy tale, when i kiss you, you don't wake up from some deep sleep and live happily ever after.
No. When you kiss me, i want to die.

and so now i wonder,
what am i going to do?

i thought i settled it,
but now,
am i really
going to sit around
and wait
for some opportunity,

or am i going to find it?

All The Kisses In The World

I think sometimes that all my hair will fall out and I'll be bald.

now,
tell me,
what is it
you expect from me.
what is it
that you want.
who,
or what
am i?


now i wonder,
if each "i'm sorry"
is a bunch of lies,
and each "accident"
is a motive.

tell me,
right now.
because i need
to leave,
for my freedom,
for my friends.

so you got your turn,
when is it going to be mine?

Epiphany

And one by one the years of our lives
Stumble as the moments pass
So please hold on,
so please hold on

and now,
i feel better,

but i wonder,
what am i now?
i used to be the one talking,
no, i used to be the one listening,
the one who always had something good to say.

quoted that you'll talk,
but now,
i may look ok,
i might even feel ok,
but i just really need you
to be there for me
like i was for you.

Pointed At Nine

car crash in slow motion

we talk,
and breathe,
we are the same,
really.

but here's a question,
why do people hate it
when others do the things they do?

Popularity

to be surrounded by people and yet be completely alone

take a good look in the mirror,
and ask yourself,
are you happy?

Well, I Guess Forever Just Got A Hell of a Lot Shorter.

you had one thing to live for, finally, and you gave it back?

because of the fine line
between right and wrong,
love and hate,
and
life and death.

but you don't understand,
don't you realise you hate everyone,
who cares about the things,
you don't really think about?

because
the people who don't care
will never understand
the people who do.

Leeches

Everything in my head is singing.


poisoned was the wine she drank,
laced with the most lethal drugs in the world,

poisoned was the wine she drank,
and so her stomach churned,

poisoned was the wine she drank,
as she fell to the floor,

now tell me,
one last time,
do you believe in miracles?

My God, You Know How Much I Needed This.

god, so i've been telling myself i have to change,
i can't let these people walk over me,
cause they think they are so magnificently awesome.
no.
they are not awesome,
they have bad fashion choices,
they have weird faces.
they think everyone is lame
and retarded,
unless they are boys.
and they think everyone is fat.
and they think whatever they say is a fact,
and i'm really sorry for those people,
cause they bring shame to the word "awesome"

they hate the ugly,
they make fun of the fat,
they suck-up to the pretty,

and guess what,
it's my mind,
my opinion.
thinking you are so cool just because you are famous,
well,
doesn't mean your well-liked.

and i regret that the same people put me in my place,
they changed me,
i stopped talking,
and i hated myself.
i felt sorry for myself.
they talked to me in ways,
that made me think why was i alive.

and why can't you people be normal?
why can't you guys tell when others need you?
why can't you spare a thought for others?
can;t you just stop putting people down?
why is it that you only get satisfactory
by laughing at other people shortcomings?
and at their mistakes?
is there anything that is more important
than you in your lowly self-centered world?

I'm Not There Anymore

And we'll be beaten down without mercy or meaning
I turn my face to a careless skyline
I'm searching hard for a sign from heaven
But they've forgotten me here


and i was totally quiet.

AND i was totally quiet.

and I was totally quiet.

and now i wonder,
if i make noise,
will they even notice?

you can say things,
you can just think it,
but i've said before,
i know what you think,
what you mean,

and it's not nice,

and i don't want to be there 20 years in the future,
regretting my choices.

but i know,
i still say hurtful things,

but please tell me,
if i don't,
there will still be something left of me.
cause i forgotten.

Meth

We're all looking for something
To take away the pain

i am trying to save a broken friendship,
for i made a mistake that shattered it all.

i am trying to shed my colours,
for i i've disgusted many with what i painted.

i have shed them all,
for i am going to create a new me,
who is happy,
who people like,
who is not easily irritated,
who is the old me,
before i changed.

i have succeeded ,
for i have forgotten what i was,
and only remember what i should not have been.

for i have forgotten
what people befriended me for,

for i have forgotten
what i should have been like,

for i have forgotten
what made me,
me.

The Olive Theory

Aww, that's so sweet.
So you chickened out like a little bitch?

i'm sorry,
for making you feel insecure.
i guess,
right now,
i'm just trying to find out
who my true friends are,
and i believe i know who they are.

thanks for talking to me.

and for the same reasons,
that's why we're such great friends,
the sick twisted way of us being on opposite ends,
creates the balance
that not even the closes of lovers can have.

Googly Eyes

Jealousy,
turning saints into the sea,
swimming through sick lullabies,
choking on your alibis,
but it's just the price i pay,
destiny is calling me,
open up my eager eyes.

sew up your lips,
won't you?
sew up your lips,
keep them shut.

i'm trying very very hard to like you.
when did it become my turn with this non-neutral towards you person?
and since when did my nails become so dirty?

and i really want to talk to my friends.
but i can't.
i just don't feel like i have the privacy.

the little girl walked towards the crowd and screamed happily,
and i imagined that i went forward and gave her a slap.
i smiled a little.

Bugger This

Why is the path unclear,
When we know home is near.
Understand we'll go hand in hand,
But we'll walk alone in fear.
Tell me where do we go from here.
When does "the end" appear,
When do the trumpets cheer.
The curtain's close, on a kiss god knows,
We can tell the end is near...

so everytime this feels like it's going to end,
something else just happens.
not like in a movie
where the ending is so predictable.

so what are we waiting for?
a prince on a white horse?
a pair of glass slippers?
a kiss of true love?

nope,
what we want is much more simple,
and much harder to get.

one
good
day.

Turn Down The Lights

Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when, you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
So if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?

maybe i made a mistake by walking away,
if i stayed,
who knows,
i may have had a better time.

that's the thing,
i do know,
i was hesitating,
so why didn't i say no?

i knew i shouldn't have followed,
i see your faces,
and i could tell you were happy.
that everyone was.
and i wasn't.

maybe i made a mistake,
maybe the mistake goes so far back,
to the past 2 years.
what good has this done for me,
actually,
tell me,
what good has this done for anyone?

Sweets Have No Meaning

I'm just a painter,
I do my crappy art,
but I see what's in your eyes,
and i know what's in your heart.

how do believe in something,
if you don't believe in yourself?

so throw your beach ball,
sing your favourite song,
eat your chicken wings,
walk on the sand,
play a fool,

and grow up.

dreams are meant to be fufilled,
if you don't believe in your dreams,
isn't that like,
playing with air?
a waste of energy?

i'm clever.
i have a normal body.
and this is what i'll do.
i'm going to study.
and the next time you hear of me,
you're not going to laugh at me,
you're not going to call me names,
you're going to say
"hey i should have been like her. now i'm a fatty with 10 kids."

Look At Me

i wish i could trust you
like how i did in the past.

do you even care,
or are you just
taking advantage
that someone will be there
to do things for you.
and that someone
is always me.

Stupid Questions.

we walk past each other,
but we don't acknowledge each other's
presence.
i waved,
only one waved back.
i find it kinda funny.
i apologised,
yet,
it's not really over,
is it?
will we be like this,
till the end of next year,
i screwed up,
i know that,
do you acknowledge the fact
that,
i'm sorry,

we walk past each other,
not willing to look into
the other party's eyes,
cause we do not know what to react.
i know you're looking,

so,
new year,
new beginnings,
does that mean,
you can't find something that's lost?

Sweet Chocolates On My Tab

it's not anyone's fault,
it's only a small matter.
why can't you just stop swearing,
and just let it go?

Where Do We Go From Here?

little white roses
in the garden sir,
little white roses
dancing in the wind.

so,
i wandered around,
no friends,
no goal,
just aimlessly wandering around.

do i regret?
yes.
am i happy now?
no.

how do you get through a time,
where you don't know what to do,
who to trust,
where to rest,
what to think?

is my life going to stay this way forever?
will i be the little girl that cries all the time?
will you be looking at this,
still asking who i'm referring to,
but not ask me if i'm alright?

will i be?

White Rose

they seem to want spikes.

and epiphany.
-a moment of revelation and insight.