You walked down those steps and I loved you. I could see your heart. You held it before you for everyone to see, and I was worried that it would get bruised or torn. And more than anything in my life, I wanted to keep it safe. To warm it with my own.
That's beautiful ... Or, taken literally, incredibly gross.
I was just thinking that too.
What do you pray for,
in the dark, before you sleep?
Wealth?
Peace?
Happiness?
Love?
Power?
or do you not pray at all?
when you go to a temple,
how long do you kneel,
in front of your god,
hold your hands in prayer,
and pray?
i see her,
mama,
when she prays,
she kneels,
her face,
at times,
troubled.
at times,
peaceful.
and she prays,
for the longest time.
[a week ago,
i was so happy,
that we were close,
that we were going to accomplish something.
and i saw the look in your eyes,
that day,
when it was over,
and you were cold.
what happened?
i thought that we would be the closest of friends forever.
maybe i was silly,
when time passes,
and everything fades away,
the pain,
and tears,
and i see you again,
with a little white hair,
or no hair at all,
i'm going to smile,
i'm going to wave,
because i found something.
something i thought i lost,
but didn't.
i know i'll miss you,
but this is a step you have to take,
i guess,
i never told you this,
but thank you.
thank you for being there,
always when i needed you,
when we drifted a part,
i cried,
because i wasn't ready,
not ready for you
to not be there
whether it was
macdonalds
or pepper lunch,
or just simple things,
like posing with grapes,
because we were so close,
and that we wouldn't be.
please know that
your true love will come along,
just be patient,
don't give up on love.
and tonight,
i'll pray that you find it.
-dojo.]
mama says that
at night,
before i close my eyes to sleep,
i should pray.
pray for the little girl,
in the black dress to leave.
[louie,
thank you.
for times that we were friends,
and times we were lesser,
i thank you,
for talking to me,
to let me feel
more or less,
forgiven.
and tonight,
i'll pray that your bad dreams will go away,
and that everything will be fine,
with your doll.]
[early pearly,
so you found it.
i love you.
and it doesn't matter what you answer is,
doesn't matter what happens,
whether the Earth is dying,
or ending,
or when you're telling me really cool cancer facts.
or when you ask me really ah?
even when we're fighting,
or when we're just goofing around,
making loads of noise
until niang tell us we're really noisy.
just know that
at night,
i pray that you're happy,
and one day,
the answer will be the answer i want.
-Babybop Stinson, Ah Pok, Eh]
when mama prays,
she doesn't pray for wealth,
or a house,
anything for herself.
she prays that her two beautiful daughters
will learn the right lessons,
and be happy,
and loved.
and at that moment,
my cheeks
were wet and salty,
cause I know,
that years later,
when she's cold,
she's not coming back,
she's not going to be there,
when I'm PMS-ing.
or when I'm lost.
And I'm so afraid,
that my last words to her,
won't be I love you.
So here endeth the lesson,
people pray,
the sick,
the healthy,
the weak,
the strong,
the poor,
the rich,
the loved,
and the loving,
they pray for the faith to get through tomorrow's obstacles.
but only the selfless pray for a tomorrow so the people they love will have faith.
and for my closest friends who have been asking me when,
this is really it,
my last words as a little grey girl.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Thursday, April 2, 2009
She's Gone!
Oh, got it. Lily and Marshall Awesome. Hey have you met the Awesomes? Lily, Marshall their son Totally and their daughter Freaking?
We made it through so much,
the late nights,
the crying,
the holding hands,
the talking,
screaming,
frustration,
sacrifice,
pain,
loss,
hope,
tears,
and we see it,
through out all the discrimination,
the confusion,
the drifting away,
we see it,
the so-called silver lining,
i found myself,
i finally knew,
what i was living on for.
and in that moment,
where we put our hands,
in the center,
shouting what we were,
what we were made of,
where we held hands,
bowed our heads,
and had let the tears flow,
in the hugs,
final whisper of good luck,
and the lights grew on,
i knew what i had been doing,
i had been living,
living to find myself.
for hell,
those suicidal feelings may come back,
i may get into that emo state of mind,
and then,
i look into your eyes,
and i know,
i'll know,
when i jump off,
every single one of you will be there to catch me.
we're not a special bunch,
i see us,
doing,
trying,
getting stressed out,
because we finally understood,
because we saw what was in each others eyes,
because we cried afterall,
and because we never gave up,
we're not special,
we're truly extraordinary.
We made it through so much,
the late nights,
the crying,
the holding hands,
the talking,
screaming,
frustration,
sacrifice,
pain,
loss,
hope,
tears,
and we see it,
through out all the discrimination,
the confusion,
the drifting away,
we see it,
the so-called silver lining,
i found myself,
i finally knew,
what i was living on for.
and in that moment,
where we put our hands,
in the center,
shouting what we were,
what we were made of,
where we held hands,
bowed our heads,
and had let the tears flow,
in the hugs,
final whisper of good luck,
and the lights grew on,
i knew what i had been doing,
i had been living,
living to find myself.
for hell,
those suicidal feelings may come back,
i may get into that emo state of mind,
and then,
i look into your eyes,
and i know,
i'll know,
when i jump off,
every single one of you will be there to catch me.
we're not a special bunch,
i see us,
doing,
trying,
getting stressed out,
because we finally understood,
because we saw what was in each others eyes,
because we cried afterall,
and because we never gave up,
we're not special,
we're truly extraordinary.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Gotta Move Lamb.
Button, button, who's got the button?
so little girl
held her hands in prayer,
and cried,
she prayed,
for the rain to pour,
and the sun to shine,
and for the tears to stop,
for her tears to stop.
she prayed to feel numb,
to feel nothing at all,
she prayed for someone,
to be there for her,
that same someone,
to grab her shoulder,
like all the rest,
but she would smile,
a goofy smile,
that would tell her everything will be alright,
it's not the monsters,
not the voices,
it's her soul,
it's her spirit
that needs to be saved,
and she needs a smile,
she needs the girl
she could give advice to,
the girl whom she was there for through it all,
to in turn be there for her.
she thanks all for their advice,
she won't cry,
not because she is brave,
but because she's sick of it,
sick of the promises of
tears washing it away,
sick of crying without
feeling better,
sick of crying,
and screaming,
but no one is there to help.
she won't talk
not because she's mute,
but because she knows
if she talks,
she would cry,
she would sob,
and she wouldn't be able to stop.
and i held my hands in prayer.
so little girl
held her hands in prayer,
and cried,
she prayed,
for the rain to pour,
and the sun to shine,
and for the tears to stop,
for her tears to stop.
she prayed to feel numb,
to feel nothing at all,
she prayed for someone,
to be there for her,
that same someone,
to grab her shoulder,
like all the rest,
but she would smile,
a goofy smile,
that would tell her everything will be alright,
it's not the monsters,
not the voices,
it's her soul,
it's her spirit
that needs to be saved,
and she needs a smile,
she needs the girl
she could give advice to,
the girl whom she was there for through it all,
to in turn be there for her.
she thanks all for their advice,
she won't cry,
not because she is brave,
but because she's sick of it,
sick of the promises of
tears washing it away,
sick of crying without
feeling better,
sick of crying,
and screaming,
but no one is there to help.
she won't talk
not because she's mute,
but because she knows
if she talks,
she would cry,
she would sob,
and she wouldn't be able to stop.
and i held my hands in prayer.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Sleeping Pills
You know what? I was wrong. You are an idiot. My life happens to, on occasion, suck beyond the telling of it. Sometimes more than I can handle. And it's not just mine. Every single person down there is ignoring your pain because they're too busy with their own. The beautiful ones. The popular ones. The guys that pick on you. Everyone. If you could hear what they were feeling. The loneliness. The confusion. It looks quiet down there. It's not. It's deafening.
Sunny day.
So all this pain,
all the sorrow,
eats into us,
willing us to get rid of the plague,
but what happens to those who that give up?
those that have no more strength to go the last
promised stretch of obstacles,
and the one after that,
and the one after that.
what happens to those?
there was no love,
no joy,
no peace.
peace,
a peaceful city,
that yearns to survive
during the coldest of winters,
I want peace,
i want to be at peace,
but what if the only time i can actually be at peace,
is when i'm dead?
yes, throughout all the
advice i've given to my friends,
the one thing i needed from them,
and wanted from them,
wasn't there.
and i hate it that all i can do is sit and stare.
i hate it that everyone is hypocritical,
and wouldn't dare to admit any shit.
if everyone is having problems,
why can't others try to help?
is a single pat on the shoulder so hard?
they don't tell you that they have problems,
not because they don't want to worry you,
they do it,
because they think that it isn't worth your 2-cents.
i lost it,
all my sense of caring,
and humour,
all shades of life.
yes,
for all the wrong reasons,
i want to die.
Sunny day.
So all this pain,
all the sorrow,
eats into us,
willing us to get rid of the plague,
but what happens to those who that give up?
those that have no more strength to go the last
promised stretch of obstacles,
and the one after that,
and the one after that.
what happens to those?
there was no love,
no joy,
no peace.
peace,
a peaceful city,
that yearns to survive
during the coldest of winters,
I want peace,
i want to be at peace,
but what if the only time i can actually be at peace,
is when i'm dead?
yes, throughout all the
advice i've given to my friends,
the one thing i needed from them,
and wanted from them,
wasn't there.
and i hate it that all i can do is sit and stare.
i hate it that everyone is hypocritical,
and wouldn't dare to admit any shit.
if everyone is having problems,
why can't others try to help?
is a single pat on the shoulder so hard?
they don't tell you that they have problems,
not because they don't want to worry you,
they do it,
because they think that it isn't worth your 2-cents.
i lost it,
all my sense of caring,
and humour,
all shades of life.
yes,
for all the wrong reasons,
i want to die.
End Of Days
Even the dull and ignorant have a story. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and stars, you have a right to be here.
and i see a torch,
that was lit by the tears of the brave,
and continued to burn,
not through those that fought battles with him,
but those,
who watched him cry,
and put a hand on his shoulder.
i saw us,
holding hands,
through the wars,
and fires that were to come,
even if we were burning,
we would still stand,
and burn.
and i see a torch,
that was lit by the tears of the brave,
and continued to burn,
not through those that fought battles with him,
but those,
who watched him cry,
and put a hand on his shoulder.
i saw us,
holding hands,
through the wars,
and fires that were to come,
even if we were burning,
we would still stand,
and burn.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Grouphug.
What about me? I tried to make you go away, I killed you, and it didn't help. And I hate it! I hate that's it's so hard... and that you can hurt me so much. I know everything you did, because you did it to me. Oh, God! I wished that I wished you dead. I don't. I can't.
hug and tell,
hug and tell,
scream and cry,
scream and cry,
and at the end of everything,
who was there for me?
and the end,
the most unexpected person
was there to hold up and umbrella for me,
and the person i needed most,
the person i thought would be there for me,
wasn't.
all this is just making me irritated,
sad,
and no one can understand,
for the fraction of the story,
doesn't say all,
but i know,
i have to really end this,
end it,
once and for all.
hug and tell,
hug and tell,
scream and cry,
scream and cry,
and at the end of everything,
who was there for me?
and the end,
the most unexpected person
was there to hold up and umbrella for me,
and the person i needed most,
the person i thought would be there for me,
wasn't.
all this is just making me irritated,
sad,
and no one can understand,
for the fraction of the story,
doesn't say all,
but i know,
i have to really end this,
end it,
once and for all.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
7.5 km/h
1. ipod to get fixed.
2. guns
3. gun ring
4. metal lunch box from new urban male.
5. tinkerbell necklace.
6. camera
7. paint
2. guns
3. gun ring
4. metal lunch box from new urban male.
5. tinkerbell necklace.
6. camera
7. paint
300
Think of me like Yoda but instead of being little and green I wear suits and I'm awesome. I'm your bro - I'm Broda!
Within a triad of solar periods, you'll recognize your dearth of compatability with your paramour and conclude your association.
My journey was transformative and I reassert my committment to both the aforementioned paramour & the philosophies he espouses.
It's all gonna return to masticate you in the glutials. Support my hypothesis, Ted.
I'm just jubilant my former paramour is jubilant.
Within a triad of solar periods, you'll recognize your dearth of compatability with your paramour and conclude your association.
My journey was transformative and I reassert my committment to both the aforementioned paramour & the philosophies he espouses.
It's all gonna return to masticate you in the glutials. Support my hypothesis, Ted.
I'm just jubilant my former paramour is jubilant.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Cassie
You think I want this? You think I don't care? Believe me, I want to... be here, do things. I want to graduate from high school, and I want to go to the stupid winter formal... I have this friend, and it would be fun to go with him. Just to dance and hear lame music to wear a silly dress and laugh and stuff... I'd like to go. There's a lot of stuff I'd like to do. I'd love to ice skate at Rockefeller Center. And I'd love to see my cousins grow up and see how they turn out 'cause they're really mean and I think they're gonna be fat. I'd love to backpack across the country or, I don't know, fall in love, but I won't. I just never will.
don't you see?
I wanted to try,
i wanted to see,
that throughout it all,
I would be fine,
I would be happy again.
and i could rest,
finally without having
a care in the world
and now i wonder whether it's even possible.
i want to sleep,
because it's the only time
i can really rest,
won't it be great,
if i never woke up?
won't it be great,
if i just slept,
forever?
yes,
there are times where i want to die,
but why don't I?
because
yes,
why don't I?
because i'm finding a reason to live.
don't you see?
I wanted to try,
i wanted to see,
that throughout it all,
I would be fine,
I would be happy again.
and i could rest,
finally without having
a care in the world
and now i wonder whether it's even possible.
i want to sleep,
because it's the only time
i can really rest,
won't it be great,
if i never woke up?
won't it be great,
if i just slept,
forever?
yes,
there are times where i want to die,
but why don't I?
because
yes,
why don't I?
because i'm finding a reason to live.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
WOOHOO~
YAY!
I VERY HAPPY!
I VERY HAPPY!
I VERY HAPPY!
I VERY HAPPY!
I VERY HAPPY!
I VERY HAPPY!
I VERY HAPPY!
I VERY HAPPY!
I VERY HAPPY!
I VERY HAPPY!
I VERY HAPPY!
I VERY HAPPY!
I VERY HAPPY!
I VERY HAPPY!
I VERY HAPPY!
I VERY HAPPY!
I VERY HAPPY!
I VERY HAPPY!
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Dollhouse
Oh, breathtaking! It's like somebody slaughtered an Abercrombie and Fitch catalog.
I'm just tired.
my hands are aching,
and my eyes are droopy,
and at this point of time,
i don't want to rhyme.
so bite me.
i cried,
i laughed,
i cried again,
and she told me what to do.
at least i'm not psycho anymore.
I'm just tired.
my hands are aching,
and my eyes are droopy,
and at this point of time,
i don't want to rhyme.
so bite me.
i cried,
i laughed,
i cried again,
and she told me what to do.
at least i'm not psycho anymore.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
If I had a dog, what would I name it?
The annoying virgin has a point.
for sweet,
she had chosen to fight,
to fight because it's something that really matters,
they fight.
They're lame morons for fighting,
but they do!
They never... they never quit.
that's why I'll keep fighting too.
Anya.
I'll call her Anya.
for sweet,
she had chosen to fight,
to fight because it's something that really matters,
they fight.
They're lame morons for fighting,
but they do!
They never... they never quit.
that's why I'll keep fighting too.
Anya.
I'll call her Anya.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Andrew Wells: friend; comrade; guestage;
he gave her the epic death that she didn't actually get to have.
some lies are better than the truth.
some lies tell the story.
behind each cry,
is a story,
behind each hidden tear,
is a legend.
now why do i ponder on what's going to happen to me when i fall,
it's not as if i'm going to live to see it anyway
some lies are better than the truth.
some lies tell the story.
behind each cry,
is a story,
behind each hidden tear,
is a legend.
now why do i ponder on what's going to happen to me when i fall,
it's not as if i'm going to live to see it anyway
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Rupert,
Oh, right. Yes, yes. Um, always behind on the terms. Still trying not to refer to you lot [Americans] as 'Bloody Colonials'
i should just not bitch about anyone,
and really mean it,
no more exceptions,
no more sniggering,
i should just not bitch about anyone,
and really mean it,
no more exceptions,
no more sniggering,
Mama Said, Mama Asked.
we are two people who are friends,because it would be inconvenient not to.
I'm beyond tired,
I'm beyond depressed,
I'm standing at the edge of sanity,
and i want to die.
I wish I strong,
I do,
I don't wish for myself to feel
all these things that I'm feeling
I don't want the skies to fall,
Hidden tears tell another story,
I need help.
I'm beyond tired,
I'm beyond depressed,
I'm standing at the edge of sanity,
and i want to die.
I wish I strong,
I do,
I don't wish for myself to feel
all these things that I'm feeling
I don't want the skies to fall,
Hidden tears tell another story,
I need help.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
You don't want my carrots? Then you'll go hungry.
24 February 2009.
2236hours.
Night.
so tears fall down,
and the sun sets,
quietly,
but everything makes an impact.
So now that everything is quiet,
will you finally listen to me?
finally,
in the darkest time of night,
will you look me in the face,
and ask me,
i'm sorry,
what were you saying?
not because you weren't listening,
but because you just wanted to understand.
and everything is on pause,
i look at you,
i look at her,
and i have to keep quiet,
i know want to just snatch you away for just half an hour,
just 30 mins,
to tell you
that i've missed you,
all the time we had spent talking,
all the time i would be the only one knowing
what on earth you were talking about,
mama says it's just a phase,
that it would pass,
that she's drifting away
because there's something going on in her life,
and whether or not she will come back,
or if she just drifts away and disappears,
aren't you glad she was once your friend?
mama knew that i was troubled.
but thought that it was just a phase,
and she doesn't want to see me be so sad,
and asked me,
if i wanted to see a psychologist.
2236hours.
Night.
so tears fall down,
and the sun sets,
quietly,
but everything makes an impact.
So now that everything is quiet,
will you finally listen to me?
finally,
in the darkest time of night,
will you look me in the face,
and ask me,
i'm sorry,
what were you saying?
not because you weren't listening,
but because you just wanted to understand.
and everything is on pause,
i look at you,
i look at her,
and i have to keep quiet,
i know want to just snatch you away for just half an hour,
just 30 mins,
to tell you
that i've missed you,
all the time we had spent talking,
all the time i would be the only one knowing
what on earth you were talking about,
mama says it's just a phase,
that it would pass,
that she's drifting away
because there's something going on in her life,
and whether or not she will come back,
or if she just drifts away and disappears,
aren't you glad she was once your friend?
mama knew that i was troubled.
but thought that it was just a phase,
and she doesn't want to see me be so sad,
and asked me,
if i wanted to see a psychologist.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Covering Up
Oh. Hey. Hi. Well, I see our preparations for the... school... pep-dance-cheer-drill-contest are really coming along. "Bring it on!"
why do people lie?
is it so they can have an easy way out?
so they can escape the punishment,
and the consequences?
to be a hypocrite?
so others will like you more?
no,
for a simple reason,
people lie,
because the truth is too ugly to hear,
because the truth is what hurts the most.
so really,
it isn't the truth that makes a person,
it's the lies.
why do people lie?
is it so they can have an easy way out?
so they can escape the punishment,
and the consequences?
to be a hypocrite?
so others will like you more?
no,
for a simple reason,
people lie,
because the truth is too ugly to hear,
because the truth is what hurts the most.
so really,
it isn't the truth that makes a person,
it's the lies.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Relapse Five!
That's where we high five,
then it's awkward for a little bit,
and then we high five again!
then it's awkward for a little bit,
and then we high five again!
thanks
hello 'bah-loo-ku'
hahaha
thanks for the great present ytd.
i had fun.
it was really nice and funny.
i loved it.
many many thanks!
LOVE
'cherm-ber-daat'
:D
hahaha
thanks for the great present ytd.
i had fun.
it was really nice and funny.
i loved it.
many many thanks!
LOVE
'cherm-ber-daat'
:D
James
When I say I love you, it's not because I want you, or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are. What you do. How you try. I've seen your kindness, and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you, and I understand, with perfect clarity, exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman. You're the One.
Trust.
you have it, or you don't.
it's there,
and then it's gone.
just like that.
it takes a million years to build,
and in a second,
just that little second,
and everything is gone.
Trust.
you have it, or you don't.
it's there,
and then it's gone.
just like that.
it takes a million years to build,
and in a second,
just that little second,
and everything is gone.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Walk Through the Fire.
These endless days are finally ending in a blaze.
in small ways and in bigger ones,
we all know that this year,
is a year that everyone changed,
for better or for worse,
but we like it,
the friends,
the company,
and level of maturity.
and happiness will prevail through the darkness of times.
in small ways and in bigger ones,
we all know that this year,
is a year that everyone changed,
for better or for worse,
but we like it,
the friends,
the company,
and level of maturity.
and happiness will prevail through the darkness of times.
LEVINSON.
time goes by, and everything drops away, all the cruelty, all the pain, all the humiliation, it all washes away, I miss my friends, I miss my enemies, I miss the people I talk to everyday, I miss the people who never knew I existed.
POLLY PUT HER FUCKING KETTLE ON.
good times,
are meant to be missed,
when times are bad.
will you be nice for once,
and tell me
fine,
we'll do it your way.
i'm tired,
i really am,
just by thinking.
of all the things happening around me,
the endless questions of what's going on in your mind,
if i'm such a good friend,
i should know don't I?
SACRIFICE.
BE CONSIDERATE.
POLLY PUT HER FUCKING KETTLE ON.
good times,
are meant to be missed,
when times are bad.
will you be nice for once,
and tell me
fine,
we'll do it your way.
i'm tired,
i really am,
just by thinking.
of all the things happening around me,
the endless questions of what's going on in your mind,
if i'm such a good friend,
i should know don't I?
SACRIFICE.
BE CONSIDERATE.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Life is Sick and Twisted.
your death by information won't disturb the peace on distant stars.
you see,
you only treasure life,
when you see someone else lose it,
why doesn't everyone see it this way,
everyone fears death because it's so unexpected,
so sudden,
it can be taken away from you in just a moment,
and there you leave your loved ones to mourn for you,.
this is what it means,
CARPE DIEM.
seize the day.
you never know when you're going to die,
so why not get everything done first?
don't leave anything hanging,
finish whatever you have to finish
before you won't ever get to.
and be brave,
death,
gives life it's meaning,
only those who fear death,
have nothing to live for.
you see,
you only treasure life,
when you see someone else lose it,
why doesn't everyone see it this way,
everyone fears death because it's so unexpected,
so sudden,
it can be taken away from you in just a moment,
and there you leave your loved ones to mourn for you,.
this is what it means,
CARPE DIEM.
seize the day.
you never know when you're going to die,
so why not get everything done first?
don't leave anything hanging,
finish whatever you have to finish
before you won't ever get to.
and be brave,
death,
gives life it's meaning,
only those who fear death,
have nothing to live for.
Unstable Fingers
Damn. I never knew you were that cool.
Well, you always were a little slow.
Curvy spots.
Curvy lines.
flawless.
and now i find myself unable to write
and doodle what i want to doodle.
and then when twice the charming
songs that sing together in perfect harmony,
is the thing you call chaos.
blabber.
tired.
wanna sleep.
so for all the things i have changed,
i have never thought i would see the day
where i lost even more confidence then
what little of it i had in the past.
i can let the lyrics flow out of my head,
to this electronic writing pad,
because it's all buttons,
z will always be at the bottom right hand corner,
but when you use a pen,
it has to show an elegance
that tells your life story.
so tell me again,
why is it that i should close down my blog?
Well, you always were a little slow.
Curvy spots.
Curvy lines.
flawless.
and now i find myself unable to write
and doodle what i want to doodle.
and then when twice the charming
songs that sing together in perfect harmony,
is the thing you call chaos.
blabber.
tired.
wanna sleep.
so for all the things i have changed,
i have never thought i would see the day
where i lost even more confidence then
what little of it i had in the past.
i can let the lyrics flow out of my head,
to this electronic writing pad,
because it's all buttons,
z will always be at the bottom right hand corner,
but when you use a pen,
it has to show an elegance
that tells your life story.
so tell me again,
why is it that i should close down my blog?
Sunday, February 15, 2009
The Body
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
Just remember, it's always darkest just before the dawn.
I don't understand. I don't understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean I knew her, and then she's, there's just a body, and I don't understand why she can't just get back in it and not be dead anymore. It's stupid. It's mortal and stupid, and, and everyone is crying and not talking, and I was having fruit punch and I thought, well, she will never have any more fruit punch, ever. And she'll never have eggs, or yawn, or brush her hair, not ever and no one will explain to me why
Just remember, it's always darkest just before the dawn.
I don't understand. I don't understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean I knew her, and then she's, there's just a body, and I don't understand why she can't just get back in it and not be dead anymore. It's stupid. It's mortal and stupid, and, and everyone is crying and not talking, and I was having fruit punch and I thought, well, she will never have any more fruit punch, ever. And she'll never have eggs, or yawn, or brush her hair, not ever and no one will explain to me why
Fool For Love
You have a death wish. Sooner or later, you're gonna want it. And the second- the second - That happens... You know I'll be there. I'll slip in... have myself a real good day.
Here endeth the lesson.
Here endeth the lesson.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
A Dark Love,
Being with you touches me,
more than I can say,
but since I'm only dead to you,
I'm saying stay away.
everyone has their little secrets,
it can be an addiction,
an affair,
a murder,
something you keep locked up somewhere
you hope no one will stumble across,
sleeping with someone you hate,
have you ever wondered
why you're keeping it a secret?
because it's wrong.
more than I can say,
but since I'm only dead to you,
I'm saying stay away.
everyone has their little secrets,
it can be an addiction,
an affair,
a murder,
something you keep locked up somewhere
you hope no one will stumble across,
sleeping with someone you hate,
have you ever wondered
why you're keeping it a secret?
because it's wrong.
Monday, February 9, 2009
write a note.
He got the kid?What kind of lawyer is that?
A good one. He won full custody.
Oh yeah... getting the kid is winning isn't it?
"You have luck with children"
EWWWEWWWEWW.
i hate it that i'm the one suffering,
and when i finally speak up,
it's my fault.
i have the worst memory.
A good one. He won full custody.
Oh yeah... getting the kid is winning isn't it?
"You have luck with children"
EWWWEWWWEWW.
i hate it that i'm the one suffering,
and when i finally speak up,
it's my fault.
i have the worst memory.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Back To The Beginning
we fight all the demons in our lives,
the inner ones,
the outer ones,
what if we can't fight them anymore?
what if we defeated all of them?
we can beat the down our demons until the cows come home,
and then we can beat up the cows.
but what does that mean,
is evil really going to give up?
no.
evil is always going to come back,
stronger,
always.
they say the only thing that can possibly fight and win evil,
is good,
is hope,
faith,
all that bullshit.
it's ourselves,
we have to taste evil before we can even fight it,
or possibly win it.
but that's not why we fight,
we do it,
because there are things worth fighting for.
the inner ones,
the outer ones,
what if we can't fight them anymore?
what if we defeated all of them?
we can beat the down our demons until the cows come home,
and then we can beat up the cows.
but what does that mean,
is evil really going to give up?
no.
evil is always going to come back,
stronger,
always.
they say the only thing that can possibly fight and win evil,
is good,
is hope,
faith,
all that bullshit.
it's ourselves,
we have to taste evil before we can even fight it,
or possibly win it.
but that's not why we fight,
we do it,
because there are things worth fighting for.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Bring on the Night.
I'm beyond tired. I'm beyond scared. I'm not ready? They're not ready. They think we're gonna wait for the end to come, like we always do. I'm done waiting. From now on, we won't just face our worst fears, we will seek them out. We will find them, and cut out their hearts, one by one.
what is going on in that mind of yours?
you keep me guessing your every move,
and i don't know what to say,
you've changed.
i've changed.
now what?
can we still be as good friends as before,
pouring our secrets out to one another?
i remember when i would be the first one to help you,
whenever you needed something.
and now,
i don't feel the urge,
or rather,
i don't want to.
and there are times where i question my place
and hers,
when in the past,
i knew i came first,
always.
so now that everyone has changed,
tell me,
where do i stand?
what is going on in that mind of yours?
you keep me guessing your every move,
and i don't know what to say,
you've changed.
i've changed.
now what?
can we still be as good friends as before,
pouring our secrets out to one another?
i remember when i would be the first one to help you,
whenever you needed something.
and now,
i don't feel the urge,
or rather,
i don't want to.
and there are times where i question my place
and hers,
when in the past,
i knew i came first,
always.
so now that everyone has changed,
tell me,
where do i stand?
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Glinda.
bunnies aren't just cute like everyone supposes.
they got them hoppy legs and twitchy little noses.
and what's with all the carrots?
what do they need such good eyesight for anyway?
in the link that tied us there,
in the simple talk,
and rejection,
i lost all hope.
moving on.
they got them hoppy legs and twitchy little noses.
and what's with all the carrots?
what do they need such good eyesight for anyway?
in the link that tied us there,
in the simple talk,
and rejection,
i lost all hope.
moving on.
i lost my funny. I LOST MY FUNNY!
I want the fire back.
in this place
and this hour.
now what do i do?
i want to say things,
and i have to think,
hey wait,
no.
the old me would never say something like that.
now what do i do?
it was the one thing i would give anything to keep.
because if i had it,
it was as if i had everything else.
now what?
and i'm whining.
and i'm tired.
and i'm confused.
and i'm colourless.
in this place
and this hour.
now what do i do?
i want to say things,
and i have to think,
hey wait,
no.
the old me would never say something like that.
now what do i do?
it was the one thing i would give anything to keep.
because if i had it,
it was as if i had everything else.
now what?
and i'm whining.
and i'm tired.
and i'm confused.
and i'm colourless.
I LOVE BARNEY STINSON.
Friends are supposed to support each other in everything they do.
Yeah, if you're a smurf.
DADADA
dadada
DADADA
dadada
dadedadedade
Why does a man do what he musn't? For her. To be the kind of man who would nev-To be a kind of man. And she will look upon him with forgiveness... and everybody will forgive and love. And he will be loved. So everything's okay, right? C-can we rest now?Can we rest?
Yeah, if you're a smurf.
DADADA
dadada
DADADA
dadada
dadedadedade
Why does a man do what he musn't? For her. To be the kind of man who would nev-To be a kind of man. And she will look upon him with forgiveness... and everybody will forgive and love. And he will be loved. So everything's okay, right? C-can we rest now?Can we rest?
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
fuck you, fuck you very very much.
screw all people who resort to violence.
screw all people who are selfish.
last but not least,
screw all people
who whine and scream for no good reason.
AND
screw those with bad advice to give.
a problem is not fun you idiot.
screw all people who are selfish.
last but not least,
screw all people
who whine and scream for no good reason.
AND
screw those with bad advice to give.
a problem is not fun you idiot.
Monday, February 2, 2009
no. 0196
what's wrong with being clingy?
we just want to know if you love us.
red.
orange.
yellow.
green.
blue.
purple.
colours of the rainbow.
but come on,
we all just want the pot of gold at the end of it.
we just want to know if you love us.
red.
orange.
yellow.
green.
blue.
purple.
colours of the rainbow.
but come on,
we all just want the pot of gold at the end of it.
2 February
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? Why do you treat people like this? So now my life is unscrewed, thanks for screwing it up all over again.
CHILDISH.
PLAIN CHILDISH.
oh and BTW,
there should be a reason if people don't like you,
whether it's a misunderstanding,
or you yourself is in the wrong,
why not just clear it up with them?
I CANNOT STRESS ON HOW MUCH YOU SHOULD NOT DON'T CARE.
CHILDISH.
PLAIN CHILDISH.
oh and BTW,
there should be a reason if people don't like you,
whether it's a misunderstanding,
or you yourself is in the wrong,
why not just clear it up with them?
I CANNOT STRESS ON HOW MUCH YOU SHOULD NOT DON'T CARE.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
I,We,They,She,He,It. You.
don't lie and say that it's ok,
it's alright if there's nothing more to say.
and i see your name on the contact list,
and i click on your name,
and i hesitate,
out of all this crap,
what if you don't feel the same way?
what if the answer isn't what i want?
what if,
it turns out that we are really just friends,
nothing more nothing less?
what am i going to do,
wondering all the time whether we could have worked out?
it's alright if there's nothing more to say.
and i see your name on the contact list,
and i click on your name,
and i hesitate,
out of all this crap,
what if you don't feel the same way?
what if the answer isn't what i want?
what if,
it turns out that we are really just friends,
nothing more nothing less?
what am i going to do,
wondering all the time whether we could have worked out?
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Blondie Bear?
WHAT THE BLEEDING HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU BLOODY WOMEN?!
i wish i was braver,
to pick up the phone,
to ask you the question
that has been bugging me
for the last half a year.
what's should i do now?
i wish i was braver,
to pick up the phone,
to ask you the question
that has been bugging me
for the last half a year.
what's should i do now?
The 4-Core Scoobies.
Not the bang. Not the word. The true beginning. The next few months are going to be quite a ride, and I think we're all going to learn something about ourselves in the process. You'll learn you're a pathetic schmuck, if it hasn't sunk in already. Look at you, trying to do what's right. Just like her. You still don't get it. It's not about right. Not about wrong.
so tons of them,
in front of me,
singing.
yet none wants to step up,
and talk to me.
for they are afraid,
as long as i know something about them,
as long as i listen,
they will need something from me,
because she's right.
there's no doubt about that.
It's about power.
so tons of them,
in front of me,
singing.
yet none wants to step up,
and talk to me.
for they are afraid,
as long as i know something about them,
as long as i listen,
they will need something from me,
because she's right.
there's no doubt about that.
It's about power.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Him
I'd kill for him!!
[scoffs] You'd kill for a chocolate bar.
it's good that i'm happy.
now that i don't have anything else to say,
i guess it's easier to say what i feel
when i feel sad,
rather than happy.
[scoffs] You'd kill for a chocolate bar.
it's good that i'm happy.
now that i don't have anything else to say,
i guess it's easier to say what i feel
when i feel sad,
rather than happy.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
I Got My 200 When I Went Past Go.
The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but its so true
I know its not right, but it seems unfair
That the things are reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if for only one weekend
The first time that you introduced me to your friends,
and you could tell that i was nervous,
so you held my hand.
so i lost the song in my heart,
and the colour in my soul,
but i'm happy,
isn't that what matters?
I know it sounds lame but its so true
I know its not right, but it seems unfair
That the things are reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if for only one weekend
The first time that you introduced me to your friends,
and you could tell that i was nervous,
so you held my hand.
so i lost the song in my heart,
and the colour in my soul,
but i'm happy,
isn't that what matters?
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
You, Me, and Him.
yes, you see, when you love someone, that's when it hurts the most.
i'm tired.
and sleepy.
i should probably go to sleep.
i really want to prove to
everyone that i can do it,
i'll do better than everyone else.
she said that i have the potential.
i may not be sure of that,
but i know that i can achieve so much more,
but i just need to work hard.
just a little motivation will do.
now let's see,
why does everyone think so little of me?
is it because i am so goofy all the time?
maybe they don't see the potential that i have.
i need to see it for myself first,
don't you see.
and i'm tired,
so can't you spell it out for me?
show me a little glimpse of the power i have,
that they don't?
if i could score higher,
why can't i do better?
time to work hard,
dear.
but first, sweet dreams.
i'm tired.
and sleepy.
i should probably go to sleep.
i really want to prove to
everyone that i can do it,
i'll do better than everyone else.
she said that i have the potential.
i may not be sure of that,
but i know that i can achieve so much more,
but i just need to work hard.
just a little motivation will do.
now let's see,
why does everyone think so little of me?
is it because i am so goofy all the time?
maybe they don't see the potential that i have.
i need to see it for myself first,
don't you see.
and i'm tired,
so can't you spell it out for me?
show me a little glimpse of the power i have,
that they don't?
if i could score higher,
why can't i do better?
time to work hard,
dear.
but first, sweet dreams.
Monday, January 26, 2009
OXYEAR
i can't take it any longer
i thought that we were stronger,
all we do is linger,
slipping through my fingers,
so a festive mood,
is it all it takes,
friends,
and family,
but don't you realise,
why we're so dissapointed when the next day,
we have to go back to our schools and works,
and see,
this is just an escape,
for one or 2 days,
and then we get back to our hell we call education.
i thought that we were stronger,
all we do is linger,
slipping through my fingers,
so a festive mood,
is it all it takes,
friends,
and family,
but don't you realise,
why we're so dissapointed when the next day,
we have to go back to our schools and works,
and see,
this is just an escape,
for one or 2 days,
and then we get back to our hell we call education.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Choco Baby
Dreams,
dreams,
when we had just started things.
it was my only outlet.
so when you weren't around,
i had something to do.
and then it became an obsession.
so the tears flow,
so the wind blows.
so the time goes by,
and so the lady with the pink parasol
walks away,
with the grace and poise of a beautiful ballerina,
and the gentleman hums,
the lovely song of which
they had grown to love,
and said goodbye.
the child sings
for all to hear:
for now,
for now,
i can't seem to talk,
i had locked myself in.
unable to breathe,
can't even shout,
can't even cry,
the hurt that they did,
no one knows,
the things they say,
the words they use,
have made me so confused,
i try to cry,
i try to plead,
they don't see anyone else,
only themsleves.
so sorry for them,
so sorry,
yet everyone else smiles.
mayeb they're the ones crying inside,
the ones that won't be noticed.
the ones that are gonna die screaming,
but won't be heard.
dreams,
when we had just started things.
it was my only outlet.
so when you weren't around,
i had something to do.
and then it became an obsession.
so the tears flow,
so the wind blows.
so the time goes by,
and so the lady with the pink parasol
walks away,
with the grace and poise of a beautiful ballerina,
and the gentleman hums,
the lovely song of which
they had grown to love,
and said goodbye.
the child sings
for all to hear:
for now,
for now,
i can't seem to talk,
i had locked myself in.
unable to breathe,
can't even shout,
can't even cry,
the hurt that they did,
no one knows,
the things they say,
the words they use,
have made me so confused,
i try to cry,
i try to plead,
they don't see anyone else,
only themsleves.
so sorry for them,
so sorry,
yet everyone else smiles.
mayeb they're the ones crying inside,
the ones that won't be noticed.
the ones that are gonna die screaming,
but won't be heard.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Empty
abandoned.
bare.
barren.
blank.
clear.
dead.
all the things that go on in my head.
acrimony
animosity.
fury.
indignation.
peevishness.
choler.
wingding.
all the things that will go up in flames.
bliss.
cheer.
geniality.
jubilation.
vivacity.
merriment.
all the things no one can really hold in their hands.
bare.
barren.
blank.
clear.
dead.
all the things that go on in my head.
acrimony
animosity.
fury.
indignation.
peevishness.
choler.
wingding.
all the things that will go up in flames.
bliss.
cheer.
geniality.
jubilation.
vivacity.
merriment.
all the things no one can really hold in their hands.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
SHUT YOUR MOUTH
do i feel mean?
do i think i'm very mean?
yes.
of course.
she didn't do anything to me,
yet she hurt me.
just by being herself,
you know she changed.
but i don't.
i don't see why you hated her in the past,
but find her nice now.
and i can't stand it that i hate her.
this stupid thing
where the on/off switch has a mind of it's own.
yes.
i know it's stupid.
yes.
i know she's my friend,
so?
does she ever think that it may be her fault?
just admit that somehow,
no one is perfect?
and does she know how hard she is making my life?
just because she doesn't want to have one,
doesn't mean i can't.
i have MY own friends,
MY own life,
and i don't want her touching everything i'm doing.
i need something,
that is my own.
something to call my own?
without her giving her stupid comments.
is that so much to ask?
have you seen the way she treats me?
i don't like it when she has such control over me.
and i hate it that i'm the "bad guy" here
cause she "changed".
and in my dream i slapped that little girl so hard she fell to the floor, and i slapped her again, and again and again and again and told her that she just be a mute, it would be better for everyone on earth, and then the people around looked at me like i was a lunatic, because all she did was laugh, irritatingly, and noisily, and then the girl cried, and there she is, the center of attention.
do i think i'm very mean?
yes.
of course.
she didn't do anything to me,
yet she hurt me.
just by being herself,
you know she changed.
but i don't.
i don't see why you hated her in the past,
but find her nice now.
and i can't stand it that i hate her.
this stupid thing
where the on/off switch has a mind of it's own.
yes.
i know it's stupid.
yes.
i know she's my friend,
so?
does she ever think that it may be her fault?
just admit that somehow,
no one is perfect?
and does she know how hard she is making my life?
just because she doesn't want to have one,
doesn't mean i can't.
i have MY own friends,
MY own life,
and i don't want her touching everything i'm doing.
i need something,
that is my own.
something to call my own?
without her giving her stupid comments.
is that so much to ask?
have you seen the way she treats me?
i don't like it when she has such control over me.
and i hate it that i'm the "bad guy" here
cause she "changed".
and in my dream i slapped that little girl so hard she fell to the floor, and i slapped her again, and again and again and again and told her that she just be a mute, it would be better for everyone on earth, and then the people around looked at me like i was a lunatic, because all she did was laugh, irritatingly, and noisily, and then the girl cried, and there she is, the center of attention.
Dead And Death
you're so sad maybe you should buy a happy meal,
you're so skinny you should really supersize the deal.
it's not really over is it?
when you die.
do we really become spirits,
or do we reincarnate?
do we get to choose what we will become?
or go straight to heaven?
or hell?
and what will it feel like,
to get cremated and stuff.
what will our last thoughts be?
what will your last words be?
who will you say "i love you" last to?
what's going to happen to them?
will we be able to watch?
you're so skinny you should really supersize the deal.
it's not really over is it?
when you die.
do we really become spirits,
or do we reincarnate?
do we get to choose what we will become?
or go straight to heaven?
or hell?
and what will it feel like,
to get cremated and stuff.
what will our last thoughts be?
what will your last words be?
who will you say "i love you" last to?
what's going to happen to them?
will we be able to watch?
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Got Any Weed?
now,
everyone knows what it's like
to be left out in the cold,
to have no friends,
you can count on,
or no friends,
who will talk to you.
they sink into a state,
of depression,
and then,
they get their friends back,
be mean to them,
ad the process starts over.
and no one realises
realises that they should stop being mean.
and no one realises that i'm trying.
oh god.
and now everytime i talk to you,
i feel as if,
everyone is judging me,
cause you are my friend,
and i hoping
praying so badly,
that you won't influence me,
everyone knows what it's like
to be left out in the cold,
to have no friends,
you can count on,
or no friends,
who will talk to you.
they sink into a state,
of depression,
and then,
they get their friends back,
be mean to them,
ad the process starts over.
and no one realises
realises that they should stop being mean.
and no one realises that i'm trying.
oh god.
and now everytime i talk to you,
i feel as if,
everyone is judging me,
cause you are my friend,
and i hoping
praying so badly,
that you won't influence me,
Friday, January 16, 2009
No Space For Lyrics
and i finally realised,
i want to have fun,
and have a life,
you don't think i want to sing because it's stupid?
i don't sing,
because i can't,
i can't play a tune in my heart,
and sing to it,
don't you think i would like to be you guys,
for about even a minute,
to not care about what others might think,
every single second of your life?
and i have to be the responsible one,
the one who doesn't dare to do anything,
the one who is the boundary,
the one that doesn't have fun,
i'm the boundary
because
I HAVE TO BE THE BOUNDARY,
the limit.
and now i'm crying cause i want to be happy.
that's all i want.
and i can't cry
cause it's wetting the pore strip.
and i thought that i was crying,
but i didn't feel the tears,
until i opened my eyes.
and i have to cry into the towel for fear of my grandma hearing.
i want to relax,
i want to have fun,
i want to be happy,
i want to grow up and see what you guys will turn like,
and hope i do better cause
i don't want to regret being responsible.
i know that's mean, but
you say i'm always emo,
depressed,
extra,
cut off.
but in the end,
i'm always cut off,
at the end,
somebody has to draw the line,
and that person always has to be me,
because who else will?
you'll probably say,
just forget everything,
i have a right to be happy,
do i?
at this point
i have no idea where my place is on earth,
god,
don't you think want to be on the phone,
with my friends,
just talking about boys,
that i don't want to fall in love,
but i do,
but if i start,
i don't want to be the monster i was,
and i don't want to do anything,
that could possibly link me to that,
and i'm sorry,
i just don't know
what my next step is.
i want to have fun,
and have a life,
you don't think i want to sing because it's stupid?
i don't sing,
because i can't,
i can't play a tune in my heart,
and sing to it,
don't you think i would like to be you guys,
for about even a minute,
to not care about what others might think,
every single second of your life?
and i have to be the responsible one,
the one who doesn't dare to do anything,
the one who is the boundary,
the one that doesn't have fun,
i'm the boundary
because
I HAVE TO BE THE BOUNDARY,
the limit.
and now i'm crying cause i want to be happy.
that's all i want.
and i can't cry
cause it's wetting the pore strip.
and i thought that i was crying,
but i didn't feel the tears,
until i opened my eyes.
and i have to cry into the towel for fear of my grandma hearing.
i want to relax,
i want to have fun,
i want to be happy,
i want to grow up and see what you guys will turn like,
and hope i do better cause
i don't want to regret being responsible.
i know that's mean, but
you say i'm always emo,
depressed,
extra,
cut off.
but in the end,
i'm always cut off,
at the end,
somebody has to draw the line,
and that person always has to be me,
because who else will?
you'll probably say,
just forget everything,
i have a right to be happy,
do i?
at this point
i have no idea where my place is on earth,
god,
don't you think want to be on the phone,
with my friends,
just talking about boys,
that i don't want to fall in love,
but i do,
but if i start,
i don't want to be the monster i was,
and i don't want to do anything,
that could possibly link me to that,
and i'm sorry,
i just don't know
what my next step is.
Yael Naim
I'm a new soul,
in this very strange world,
Hoping I could learn a bit
'bout how to give and take
blah.
i don't know what to do.
and i understand
what it means,
to just want to cry,
just to let everything out.
because i feel exactly the same way.
in this very strange world,
Hoping I could learn a bit
'bout how to give and take
blah.
i don't know what to do.
and i understand
what it means,
to just want to cry,
just to let everything out.
because i feel exactly the same way.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Resolution
They're Transvestites!!!
AHH! AHH!
so i'm your little dog,
that follows you around?
i don't get why
i keep stirring this up,
i should have
the decency to just let myself relax,
but no,
you had keep telling me.
AHH! AHH!
so i'm your little dog,
that follows you around?
i don't get why
i keep stirring this up,
i should have
the decency to just let myself relax,
but no,
you had keep telling me.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Joss
This isn't some fairy tale, when i kiss you, you don't wake up from some deep sleep and live happily ever after.
No. When you kiss me, i want to die.
and so now i wonder,
what am i going to do?
i thought i settled it,
but now,
am i really
going to sit around
and wait
for some opportunity,
or am i going to find it?
No. When you kiss me, i want to die.
and so now i wonder,
what am i going to do?
i thought i settled it,
but now,
am i really
going to sit around
and wait
for some opportunity,
or am i going to find it?
All The Kisses In The World
I think sometimes that all my hair will fall out and I'll be bald.
now,
tell me,
what is it
you expect from me.
what is it
that you want.
who,
or what
am i?
now i wonder,
if each "i'm sorry"
is a bunch of lies,
and each "accident"
is a motive.
tell me,
right now.
because i need
to leave,
for my freedom,
for my friends.
so you got your turn,
when is it going to be mine?
now,
tell me,
what is it
you expect from me.
what is it
that you want.
who,
or what
am i?
now i wonder,
if each "i'm sorry"
is a bunch of lies,
and each "accident"
is a motive.
tell me,
right now.
because i need
to leave,
for my freedom,
for my friends.
so you got your turn,
when is it going to be mine?
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Epiphany
And one by one the years of our lives
Stumble as the moments pass
So please hold on,
so please hold on
and now,
i feel better,
but i wonder,
what am i now?
i used to be the one talking,
no, i used to be the one listening,
the one who always had something good to say.
quoted that you'll talk,
but now,
i may look ok,
i might even feel ok,
but i just really need you
to be there for me
like i was for you.
Stumble as the moments pass
So please hold on,
so please hold on
and now,
i feel better,
but i wonder,
what am i now?
i used to be the one talking,
no, i used to be the one listening,
the one who always had something good to say.
quoted that you'll talk,
but now,
i may look ok,
i might even feel ok,
but i just really need you
to be there for me
like i was for you.
Pointed At Nine
car crash in slow motion
we talk,
and breathe,
we are the same,
really.
but here's a question,
why do people hate it
when others do the things they do?
we talk,
and breathe,
we are the same,
really.
but here's a question,
why do people hate it
when others do the things they do?
Monday, January 12, 2009
Popularity
to be surrounded by people and yet be completely alone
take a good look in the mirror,
and ask yourself,
are you happy?
take a good look in the mirror,
and ask yourself,
are you happy?
Well, I Guess Forever Just Got A Hell of a Lot Shorter.
you had one thing to live for, finally, and you gave it back?
because of the fine line
between right and wrong,
love and hate,
and
life and death.
but you don't understand,
don't you realise you hate everyone,
who cares about the things,
you don't really think about?
because
the people who don't care
will never understand
the people who do.
because of the fine line
between right and wrong,
love and hate,
and
life and death.
but you don't understand,
don't you realise you hate everyone,
who cares about the things,
you don't really think about?
because
the people who don't care
will never understand
the people who do.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Leeches
Everything in my head is singing.
poisoned was the wine she drank,
laced with the most lethal drugs in the world,
poisoned was the wine she drank,
and so her stomach churned,
poisoned was the wine she drank,
as she fell to the floor,
now tell me,
one last time,
do you believe in miracles?
poisoned was the wine she drank,
laced with the most lethal drugs in the world,
poisoned was the wine she drank,
and so her stomach churned,
poisoned was the wine she drank,
as she fell to the floor,
now tell me,
one last time,
do you believe in miracles?
Saturday, January 10, 2009
My God, You Know How Much I Needed This.
god, so i've been telling myself i have to change,
i can't let these people walk over me,
cause they think they are so magnificently awesome.
no.
they are not awesome,
they have bad fashion choices,
they have weird faces.
they think everyone is lame
and retarded,
unless they are boys.
and they think everyone is fat.
and they think whatever they say is a fact,
and i'm really sorry for those people,
cause they bring shame to the word "awesome"
they hate the ugly,
they make fun of the fat,
they suck-up to the pretty,
and guess what,
it's my mind,
my opinion.
thinking you are so cool just because you are famous,
well,
doesn't mean your well-liked.
and i regret that the same people put me in my place,
they changed me,
i stopped talking,
and i hated myself.
i felt sorry for myself.
they talked to me in ways,
that made me think why was i alive.
and why can't you people be normal?
why can't you guys tell when others need you?
why can't you spare a thought for others?
can;t you just stop putting people down?
why is it that you only get satisfactory
by laughing at other people shortcomings?
and at their mistakes?
is there anything that is more important
than you in your lowly self-centered world?
i can't let these people walk over me,
cause they think they are so magnificently awesome.
no.
they are not awesome,
they have bad fashion choices,
they have weird faces.
they think everyone is lame
and retarded,
unless they are boys.
and they think everyone is fat.
and they think whatever they say is a fact,
and i'm really sorry for those people,
cause they bring shame to the word "awesome"
they hate the ugly,
they make fun of the fat,
they suck-up to the pretty,
and guess what,
it's my mind,
my opinion.
thinking you are so cool just because you are famous,
well,
doesn't mean your well-liked.
and i regret that the same people put me in my place,
they changed me,
i stopped talking,
and i hated myself.
i felt sorry for myself.
they talked to me in ways,
that made me think why was i alive.
and why can't you people be normal?
why can't you guys tell when others need you?
why can't you spare a thought for others?
can;t you just stop putting people down?
why is it that you only get satisfactory
by laughing at other people shortcomings?
and at their mistakes?
is there anything that is more important
than you in your lowly self-centered world?
I'm Not There Anymore
And we'll be beaten down without mercy or meaning
I turn my face to a careless skyline
I'm searching hard for a sign from heaven
But they've forgotten me here
and i was totally quiet.
AND i was totally quiet.
and I was totally quiet.
and now i wonder,
if i make noise,
will they even notice?
you can say things,
you can just think it,
but i've said before,
i know what you think,
what you mean,
and it's not nice,
and i don't want to be there 20 years in the future,
regretting my choices.
but i know,
i still say hurtful things,
but please tell me,
if i don't,
there will still be something left of me.
cause i forgotten.
I turn my face to a careless skyline
I'm searching hard for a sign from heaven
But they've forgotten me here
and i was totally quiet.
AND i was totally quiet.
and I was totally quiet.
and now i wonder,
if i make noise,
will they even notice?
you can say things,
you can just think it,
but i've said before,
i know what you think,
what you mean,
and it's not nice,
and i don't want to be there 20 years in the future,
regretting my choices.
but i know,
i still say hurtful things,
but please tell me,
if i don't,
there will still be something left of me.
cause i forgotten.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Meth
We're all looking for something
To take away the pain
i am trying to save a broken friendship,
for i made a mistake that shattered it all.
i am trying to shed my colours,
for i i've disgusted many with what i painted.
i have shed them all,
for i am going to create a new me,
who is happy,
who people like,
who is not easily irritated,
who is the old me,
before i changed.
i have succeeded ,
for i have forgotten what i was,
and only remember what i should not have been.
for i have forgotten
what people befriended me for,
for i have forgotten
what i should have been like,
for i have forgotten
what made me,
me.
To take away the pain
i am trying to save a broken friendship,
for i made a mistake that shattered it all.
i am trying to shed my colours,
for i i've disgusted many with what i painted.
i have shed them all,
for i am going to create a new me,
who is happy,
who people like,
who is not easily irritated,
who is the old me,
before i changed.
i have succeeded ,
for i have forgotten what i was,
and only remember what i should not have been.
for i have forgotten
what people befriended me for,
for i have forgotten
what i should have been like,
for i have forgotten
what made me,
me.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
The Olive Theory
Aww, that's so sweet.
So you chickened out like a little bitch?
i'm sorry,
for making you feel insecure.
i guess,
right now,
i'm just trying to find out
who my true friends are,
and i believe i know who they are.
thanks for talking to me.
and for the same reasons,
that's why we're such great friends,
the sick twisted way of us being on opposite ends,
creates the balance
that not even the closes of lovers can have.
So you chickened out like a little bitch?
i'm sorry,
for making you feel insecure.
i guess,
right now,
i'm just trying to find out
who my true friends are,
and i believe i know who they are.
thanks for talking to me.
and for the same reasons,
that's why we're such great friends,
the sick twisted way of us being on opposite ends,
creates the balance
that not even the closes of lovers can have.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Googly Eyes
Jealousy,
turning saints into the sea,
swimming through sick lullabies,
choking on your alibis,
but it's just the price i pay,
destiny is calling me,
open up my eager eyes.
sew up your lips,
won't you?
sew up your lips,
keep them shut.
i'm trying very very hard to like you.
when did it become my turn with this non-neutral towards you person?
and since when did my nails become so dirty?
and i really want to talk to my friends.
but i can't.
i just don't feel like i have the privacy.
the little girl walked towards the crowd and screamed happily,
and i imagined that i went forward and gave her a slap.
i smiled a little.
turning saints into the sea,
swimming through sick lullabies,
choking on your alibis,
but it's just the price i pay,
destiny is calling me,
open up my eager eyes.
sew up your lips,
won't you?
sew up your lips,
keep them shut.
i'm trying very very hard to like you.
when did it become my turn with this non-neutral towards you person?
and since when did my nails become so dirty?
and i really want to talk to my friends.
but i can't.
i just don't feel like i have the privacy.
the little girl walked towards the crowd and screamed happily,
and i imagined that i went forward and gave her a slap.
i smiled a little.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Bugger This
Why is the path unclear,
When we know home is near.
Understand we'll go hand in hand,
But we'll walk alone in fear.
Tell me where do we go from here.
When does "the end" appear,
When do the trumpets cheer.
The curtain's close, on a kiss god knows,
We can tell the end is near...
so everytime this feels like it's going to end,
something else just happens.
not like in a movie
where the ending is so predictable.
so what are we waiting for?
a prince on a white horse?
a pair of glass slippers?
a kiss of true love?
nope,
what we want is much more simple,
and much harder to get.
one
good
day.
When we know home is near.
Understand we'll go hand in hand,
But we'll walk alone in fear.
Tell me where do we go from here.
When does "the end" appear,
When do the trumpets cheer.
The curtain's close, on a kiss god knows,
We can tell the end is near...
so everytime this feels like it's going to end,
something else just happens.
not like in a movie
where the ending is so predictable.
so what are we waiting for?
a prince on a white horse?
a pair of glass slippers?
a kiss of true love?
nope,
what we want is much more simple,
and much harder to get.
one
good
day.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Turn Down The Lights
Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when, you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
So if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
maybe i made a mistake by walking away,
if i stayed,
who knows,
i may have had a better time.
that's the thing,
i do know,
i was hesitating,
so why didn't i say no?
i knew i shouldn't have followed,
i see your faces,
and i could tell you were happy.
that everyone was.
and i wasn't.
maybe i made a mistake,
maybe the mistake goes so far back,
to the past 2 years.
what good has this done for me,
actually,
tell me,
what good has this done for anyone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when, you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
So if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
maybe i made a mistake by walking away,
if i stayed,
who knows,
i may have had a better time.
that's the thing,
i do know,
i was hesitating,
so why didn't i say no?
i knew i shouldn't have followed,
i see your faces,
and i could tell you were happy.
that everyone was.
and i wasn't.
maybe i made a mistake,
maybe the mistake goes so far back,
to the past 2 years.
what good has this done for me,
actually,
tell me,
what good has this done for anyone?
Sweets Have No Meaning
I'm just a painter,
I do my crappy art,
but I see what's in your eyes,
and i know what's in your heart.
how do believe in something,
if you don't believe in yourself?
so throw your beach ball,
sing your favourite song,
eat your chicken wings,
walk on the sand,
play a fool,
and grow up.
dreams are meant to be fufilled,
if you don't believe in your dreams,
isn't that like,
playing with air?
a waste of energy?
i'm clever.
i have a normal body.
and this is what i'll do.
i'm going to study.
and the next time you hear of me,
you're not going to laugh at me,
you're not going to call me names,
you're going to say
"hey i should have been like her. now i'm a fatty with 10 kids."
I do my crappy art,
but I see what's in your eyes,
and i know what's in your heart.
how do believe in something,
if you don't believe in yourself?
so throw your beach ball,
sing your favourite song,
eat your chicken wings,
walk on the sand,
play a fool,
and grow up.
dreams are meant to be fufilled,
if you don't believe in your dreams,
isn't that like,
playing with air?
a waste of energy?
i'm clever.
i have a normal body.
and this is what i'll do.
i'm going to study.
and the next time you hear of me,
you're not going to laugh at me,
you're not going to call me names,
you're going to say
"hey i should have been like her. now i'm a fatty with 10 kids."
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Look At Me
i wish i could trust you
like how i did in the past.
do you even care,
or are you just
taking advantage
that someone will be there
to do things for you.
and that someone
is always me.
like how i did in the past.
do you even care,
or are you just
taking advantage
that someone will be there
to do things for you.
and that someone
is always me.
Stupid Questions.
we walk past each other,
but we don't acknowledge each other's
presence.
i waved,
only one waved back.
i find it kinda funny.
i apologised,
yet,
it's not really over,
is it?
will we be like this,
till the end of next year,
i screwed up,
i know that,
do you acknowledge the fact
that,
i'm sorry,
we walk past each other,
not willing to look into
the other party's eyes,
cause we do not know what to react.
i know you're looking,
so,
new year,
new beginnings,
does that mean,
you can't find something that's lost?
but we don't acknowledge each other's
presence.
i waved,
only one waved back.
i find it kinda funny.
i apologised,
yet,
it's not really over,
is it?
will we be like this,
till the end of next year,
i screwed up,
i know that,
do you acknowledge the fact
that,
i'm sorry,
we walk past each other,
not willing to look into
the other party's eyes,
cause we do not know what to react.
i know you're looking,
so,
new year,
new beginnings,
does that mean,
you can't find something that's lost?
Friday, January 2, 2009
Sweet Chocolates On My Tab
it's not anyone's fault,
it's only a small matter.
why can't you just stop swearing,
and just let it go?
it's only a small matter.
why can't you just stop swearing,
and just let it go?
Where Do We Go From Here?
little white roses
in the garden sir,
little white roses
dancing in the wind.
so,
i wandered around,
no friends,
no goal,
just aimlessly wandering around.
do i regret?
yes.
am i happy now?
no.
how do you get through a time,
where you don't know what to do,
who to trust,
where to rest,
what to think?
is my life going to stay this way forever?
will i be the little girl that cries all the time?
will you be looking at this,
still asking who i'm referring to,
but not ask me if i'm alright?
will i be?
in the garden sir,
little white roses
dancing in the wind.
so,
i wandered around,
no friends,
no goal,
just aimlessly wandering around.
do i regret?
yes.
am i happy now?
no.
how do you get through a time,
where you don't know what to do,
who to trust,
where to rest,
what to think?
is my life going to stay this way forever?
will i be the little girl that cries all the time?
will you be looking at this,
still asking who i'm referring to,
but not ask me if i'm alright?
will i be?
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Artic Thistles
I touch the fire and it freezes me.
I look into it and its black.
This isn't real, but I just wanna feel.
slap me now.
cause in about 4 hours and 45 mins,
i'll be a new person.
i'll get out of my black hole,
and smile.
I look into it and its black.
This isn't real, but I just wanna feel.
slap me now.
cause in about 4 hours and 45 mins,
i'll be a new person.
i'll get out of my black hole,
and smile.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
tell me.
so now,
i'm a girl trying to change.
because i owe it to myself,
and everyone else,
that i can be something different.
something,
so much more.
and i'm sorry if you laugh at me,
or make fun of me.
cause that's your loss of letting go
of the disgusting me.
and here i am,
shedding off
what i was,
and changing into something
that grey person.
that grey person
with the yellow umbrella.
or the grey person
with the puple top.
i'll be the grey person.
no characteristics.
nothing special.
just me.
so tell me,
do you want to help or not?
i'm a girl trying to change.
because i owe it to myself,
and everyone else,
that i can be something different.
something,
so much more.
and i'm sorry if you laugh at me,
or make fun of me.
cause that's your loss of letting go
of the disgusting me.
and here i am,
shedding off
what i was,
and changing into something
that grey person.
that grey person
with the yellow umbrella.
or the grey person
with the puple top.
i'll be the grey person.
no characteristics.
nothing special.
just me.
so tell me,
do you want to help or not?
say quote
i guess i did swear alot
on sat.
more then i usually do actually.
i thought since hey,
you guys are ok with it,
everyone should be too.
they don't realise i'm only joking.
2 years people.
2 years of going through
the most dramatic changes of my life.
i'm really sorry if i changed for the worst.
i've been manipulating.
into different bodies,
characteristics, more like.
i know i should do things.
but there's that-
no.
there's nothing.
no more excuses.
i will not swear from this day forward.
i will not bitch about people.
i will not hate anyone
who doesn't deserve it.
i will not start blogwars again.
i will be a better person.
a better,
happier person.
now,
screw off.
on sat.
more then i usually do actually.
i thought since hey,
you guys are ok with it,
everyone should be too.
they don't realise i'm only joking.
2 years people.
2 years of going through
the most dramatic changes of my life.
i'm really sorry if i changed for the worst.
i've been manipulating.
into different bodies,
characteristics, more like.
i know i should do things.
but there's that-
no.
there's nothing.
no more excuses.
i will not swear from this day forward.
i will not bitch about people.
i will not hate anyone
who doesn't deserve it.
i will not start blogwars again.
i will be a better person.
a better,
happier person.
now,
screw off.
Monday, December 29, 2008
I Get It.
why am i letting so many people influence me?
i had so many good friends,
that i just threw away in a flick of my hand.
i don't want to hear you talk about them,
because i have the choice of who will remain as my friend.
and who doesn't.
at the beginning of the year
i had friends,
friends
from different classes.
friends that if i turned a corner,
i knew they would be there
so i could talk to them,
and i threw everything away.
i stopped hanging out with them,
and i stopped talking to them.
and my friends got lesser and lesser.
who could i really count on?
who can i really count on now?
i want to have the friends that i had 12 months ago.
the weekly dose of pepper lunches.
enough.
i am my own person.
I WILL NOT LET ANYONE RUN MY LIFE.
I WILL BE HAPPY.
I WILL NOT LET WHAT YOU SAY AFFECT MY DECISIONS.
i will be happy.
i will be happy.
finally.
i will have a mind of my own.
period.
i had so many good friends,
that i just threw away in a flick of my hand.
i don't want to hear you talk about them,
because i have the choice of who will remain as my friend.
and who doesn't.
at the beginning of the year
i had friends,
friends
from different classes.
friends that if i turned a corner,
i knew they would be there
so i could talk to them,
and i threw everything away.
i stopped hanging out with them,
and i stopped talking to them.
and my friends got lesser and lesser.
who could i really count on?
who can i really count on now?
i want to have the friends that i had 12 months ago.
the weekly dose of pepper lunches.
enough.
i am my own person.
I WILL NOT LET ANYONE RUN MY LIFE.
I WILL BE HAPPY.
I WILL NOT LET WHAT YOU SAY AFFECT MY DECISIONS.
i will be happy.
i will be happy.
finally.
i will have a mind of my own.
period.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
The Awesomes
simple.
that's how it's supposed to be.
on some level,
it just has to be simple.
you can't struggle with the errands.
you have to be willing to do the things.
willing to sacrifice.
easily.
that's how it is with the person you love.
simple.
that's how it's supposed to be.
on some level,
it just has to be simple.
you can't struggle with the errands.
you have to be willing to do the things.
willing to sacrifice.
easily.
that's how it is with the person you love.
simple.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Belly Full Of Turkey.
will i stay this way forever?
sleepwalk through my life's endeavor.
i've woken up.
sobered up.
freshened up.
yes at 3 in the morning,
i'd probably be able to do PE.
and i'll probably wake up at 11.
i've got to stop napping.
but the comfort of my soft pillows
and terribly tempting.
also,
the temptation of the
chocolate cake in my fridge
is driving me nuts.
damn it that christmas has
to be right when school is about to start.
i know i have to start jumping and stuff.
but i'm just full of excuses.
and yah,
i've got to focus.
stop being emotional
with the petty things going on around me.
this time,
i have to study.
god,
i bet no one's gonna believe me.
hey.
here is me saying
that one day.
i'm going to be rich.
and
married to a very handsome
and preferably rich guy.
that lives in england.
or america.
and i'm going to be a success.
and i'll be really slim.
and rich.
sleepwalk through my life's endeavor.
i've woken up.
sobered up.
freshened up.
yes at 3 in the morning,
i'd probably be able to do PE.
and i'll probably wake up at 11.
i've got to stop napping.
but the comfort of my soft pillows
and terribly tempting.
also,
the temptation of the
chocolate cake in my fridge
is driving me nuts.
damn it that christmas has
to be right when school is about to start.
i know i have to start jumping and stuff.
but i'm just full of excuses.
and yah,
i've got to focus.
stop being emotional
with the petty things going on around me.
this time,
i have to study.
god,
i bet no one's gonna believe me.
hey.
here is me saying
that one day.
i'm going to be rich.
and
married to a very handsome
and preferably rich guy.
that lives in england.
or america.
and i'm going to be a success.
and i'll be really slim.
and rich.
Friday, December 26, 2008
no. 0149
if someone is a homosexual,
who are we to blame them?
it's in them.
it's their hormones.
how are we able to change how
they were born?
and why is everyone so
discriminating?
who are we to blame them?
it's in them.
it's their hormones.
how are we able to change how
they were born?
and why is everyone so
discriminating?
Afraid of The Seven Dawrfs.
Well, only doc. I mean the guy went to medical school. What's he doing living with 6 coal miners?
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Creation
on a cold christmas day,
what do you wish most for?
love?
hope?
faith?
friendship?
family?
why don't you ask for happiness?
all things come in a cycle,
maybe you didn't get something,
because you have to wait,
happiness needs time,
and effort,
and patience.
what do you wish most for?
love?
hope?
faith?
friendship?
family?
why don't you ask for happiness?
all things come in a cycle,
maybe you didn't get something,
because you have to wait,
happiness needs time,
and effort,
and patience.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Karma
a clever person makes a mistake
and learns from it,
a wise person observes another's mistake
and learns from that.
for everything is connected,
and that is why i change,
because what i did is wrong,
and selfish,
and it suddenly dawned on me
if i carry on like this,
i going to fail in life,
because she said,
the happiness you feel,
will reflect on your face.
and learns from it,
a wise person observes another's mistake
and learns from that.
for everything is connected,
and that is why i change,
because what i did is wrong,
and selfish,
and it suddenly dawned on me
if i carry on like this,
i going to fail in life,
because she said,
the happiness you feel,
will reflect on your face.
Monday, December 22, 2008
The Second Sunday of Every May.
for their love is eternal,
unconditional,
they protect us with every fibre in their being,
they always put our happiness before theirs,
and their love for us starts,
right from the beginning.
unconditional,
they protect us with every fibre in their being,
they always put our happiness before theirs,
and their love for us starts,
right from the beginning.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Gone
You've cut your hair.
The little things you notice,
can be the little things that make a person know you care.
acknowledge the changes,
and tell them how you feel,
make it sound nice,
tone is all it takes.
The little things you notice,
can be the little things that make a person know you care.
acknowledge the changes,
and tell them how you feel,
make it sound nice,
tone is all it takes.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Wrecked
But I mean, if you could be, you know, plain old hag or super woman, who would you be?
the hardest thing rebound from is addiction,
the toughest thing to refrain from is power,
the worst thing to give up on is yourself.
the hardest thing rebound from is addiction,
the toughest thing to refrain from is power,
the worst thing to give up on is yourself.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Smashed
Responsible people are so concerned with being good all the time that when they finally get a taste of being bad, they can't get enough.
they talk about the things in life that matter,
for a blunt girl who doesn't understand anything at all,
at least she can understand life,
which is more than i can say for most of us.
they talk about the things in life that matter,
for a blunt girl who doesn't understand anything at all,
at least she can understand life,
which is more than i can say for most of us.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Apollo
the sun that shines,
brightly,
brings joy.
while the rain is despised,
cold,
cruel.
but we often forget,
that the rain,
brings the hope,
that all our troubles,
will one day be washed away.
brightly,
brings joy.
while the rain is despised,
cold,
cruel.
but we often forget,
that the rain,
brings the hope,
that all our troubles,
will one day be washed away.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Burned
so i have been singing my whole life,
maybe i stopped because,
because there are only so many songs
in the world,
so i stop singing
and wait for,
that's it,
i don't know
what i'm waiting for.
screw inconsiderate people.
i touch the fire and it freezes me,
i look into and it's black,
why can't i feel?
my skin should crack and peel.
i want the fire back.
maybe i stopped because,
because there are only so many songs
in the world,
so i stop singing
and wait for,
that's it,
i don't know
what i'm waiting for.
screw inconsiderate people.
i touch the fire and it freezes me,
i look into and it's black,
why can't i feel?
my skin should crack and peel.
i want the fire back.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Shoot, Shag, Marry
no matter how much
you despise or
hate or
avoid being
a hypocrite,
you will always be one.
you despise or
hate or
avoid being
a hypocrite,
you will always be one.
The Fortress of Barnitude.
it's like a vacuum,
it's like a vacuum
sucking out my brain
it's sucking out the lyrics
leaving me to live
without the
catchy song in my heart,
the way i live.
it's like a vacuum
sucking out my brain
it's sucking out the lyrics
leaving me to live
without the
catchy song in my heart,
the way i live.
Nothing Good Happens After 2 a.m.
i don't bitch about people
because i did that once,
and look where it landed me,
thanks alot
for looking at me
as if i were retarded.
because i did that once,
and look where it landed me,
thanks alot
for looking at me
as if i were retarded.
I Pray You.
i don't understand.
i don't get why
i'm saying things for
no good reason.
why i do things
i never would before.
why i'm changing
without any control.
maybe i just don't
want to be
the sad little bitch
that i was before,
but i can't control anything.
i say things,
and wonder,
why did i say that?
i'd never say that in the past,
i think things,
which i won't even hesistate
to avoid thinking
a few months back,
my friends thought
that you were a bad influence on me,
and now,
more and more people are,
i dunno what to trust now,
i notice little things
that no one really
bothers about.
i just don't want to live like this,
it's stupid.
it's petty and stupid,
and human nature-ishly irritaing,
screw human nature,
I JUST DON'T FREAKIN UNDERSTAND
AND NO ONE WILL EXPLAIN TO ME WHY.
i don't get why
i'm saying things for
no good reason.
why i do things
i never would before.
why i'm changing
without any control.
maybe i just don't
want to be
the sad little bitch
that i was before,
but i can't control anything.
i say things,
and wonder,
why did i say that?
i'd never say that in the past,
i think things,
which i won't even hesistate
to avoid thinking
a few months back,
my friends thought
that you were a bad influence on me,
and now,
more and more people are,
i dunno what to trust now,
i notice little things
that no one really
bothers about.
i just don't want to live like this,
it's stupid.
it's petty and stupid,
and human nature-ishly irritaing,
screw human nature,
I JUST DON'T FREAKIN UNDERSTAND
AND NO ONE WILL EXPLAIN TO ME WHY.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Sleepless Nights
this is getting to be a routine.
where i'll be dead tired all day,
and i'll use the computer until 11 or 12,
and go to sleep,
but i'll stay awake for a long time,
and i'll wake up at 12 or 1 in the afternoon.
what's happening to me???
i need help.
where i'll be dead tired all day,
and i'll use the computer until 11 or 12,
and go to sleep,
but i'll stay awake for a long time,
and i'll wake up at 12 or 1 in the afternoon.
what's happening to me???
i need help.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Other Side Of The World
move along,
and the fire fades away,
most of everyday,
is filled with tired excuses.
i wish i were simple.
it is,
isn't it,
nothing is complicated.
not if you take it apart
and analyze it.
everything's easy.
simple.
plain.
and the fire fades away,
most of everyday,
is filled with tired excuses.
i wish i were simple.
it is,
isn't it,
nothing is complicated.
not if you take it apart
and analyze it.
everything's easy.
simple.
plain.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Cold Night, Dark Night.
star light,
star bright,
first star i see tonight,
i wish i may,
i wish i might,
have the wish,
i wish tonight.
will i be happy again?
star bright,
first star i see tonight,
i wish i may,
i wish i might,
have the wish,
i wish tonight.
will i be happy again?
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Saturday, December 6, 2008
92' and Still Sexy.
In every story, there's a best friend and a leading lady,
this is my life, stop being the best friend.
That's a little corny,
like how every story
needs a happy ending.
I like corny.
I need some corny in my life.
this is my life, stop being the best friend.
That's a little corny,
like how every story
needs a happy ending.
I like corny.
I need some corny in my life.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Little Truth, Doubts and Lies.
i hate second guessing
i hate being insecure
i hate it that you're joking but i don't find it funny
i hate it that i feel threatened.
i hate it that i've changed.
i hate it that the pimples on my face aren't going away.
i hate it that i have to keep quiet or my happiness will be at stake.
i hate it that you think it's easy because it isn't for me.
i hate it the things you do, the words you say, can mean so much to me,
i hate it, that no one who has seen this, would come up to me and say
"are you all right"
i know,
i've chosen to keep my mouth shut.
but it won't hurt to care
would it?
for the thousandth time that i have typed this,
i have to be brave,
i have to click publish.
i hate being insecure
i hate it that you're joking but i don't find it funny
i hate it that i feel threatened.
i hate it that i've changed.
i hate it that the pimples on my face aren't going away.
i hate it that i have to keep quiet or my happiness will be at stake.
i hate it that you think it's easy because it isn't for me.
i hate it the things you do, the words you say, can mean so much to me,
i hate it, that no one who has seen this, would come up to me and say
"are you all right"
i know,
i've chosen to keep my mouth shut.
but it won't hurt to care
would it?
for the thousandth time that i have typed this,
i have to be brave,
i have to click publish.
Triad Of Solar Periods
Thank God you're not a mom, you're such an ice-queen, any baby nursing from you will get brain freeze.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
One Good Day.
We can't prevent
What we can't predict.
So enjoy this beautiful day,
for we get so few of them.
What we can't predict.
So enjoy this beautiful day,
for we get so few of them.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
New Shoes. New Home.
How is it that people can buy houses
as if they were worth nothing.
boom.
see.saw.bought.stay.
i like this place.
it feels safe.
like home.
too bad i'm the only one who thinks so.
as if they were worth nothing.
boom.
see.saw.bought.stay.
i like this place.
it feels safe.
like home.
too bad i'm the only one who thinks so.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Not My Best.
how cliched is it,
that everytime a guy on tv
is caring,
warm,
funny,
and every girl want him.
how sweet he is.
have you wondered,
if he was real,
he would probably pass off
as a sissy mama's boy.
and when someone so sweet
on tv can be ugly,
or handicapped,
everyone will feel touched,
and will be on his side
and no one will be
on the handsome rapist's side.
but in real life,
everyone won't even
give a damn about
ugly sweet and handicapped.
and go directly to the handsome guy.
life is twisted.
that everytime a guy on tv
is caring,
warm,
funny,
and every girl want him.
how sweet he is.
have you wondered,
if he was real,
he would probably pass off
as a sissy mama's boy.
and when someone so sweet
on tv can be ugly,
or handicapped,
everyone will feel touched,
and will be on his side
and no one will be
on the handsome rapist's side.
but in real life,
everyone won't even
give a damn about
ugly sweet and handicapped.
and go directly to the handsome guy.
life is twisted.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Change.
i wonder what i'll be 10 years from now,
5 years ago,
i probably asked myself
what i would be,
5 years from now.
would have loads of friends.
would i be popular.
would i be going to a good school.
now,
i see people,
their lives,
their blogs,
and wonder,
would i be like them,
if i took a different path?
they look happy.
well,
they always do,
annoyingly so.
with their little emoticons
at the end of every freaking sentence.
how they would underline
and italics
and bold
and color
shoutouts
like happy birthday,
say it to them in person.
it's called sincerity,
i'm different.
i don't put emoticons.
i don't wish alot of people happy birthday.,
i'm not popular.
i'm not always
annoyingly
happy.
i dare to say something.
i dare to spell it out.
so it voices down to this.
i'm different.
i've made mistakes.
i ponder over things.
i know more than
i probably should.
i think to much.
i'm not popular.
i have good friends.
am i happy?
am i happy?
will i finally be able to answer that question?
5 years ago,
i probably asked myself
what i would be,
5 years from now.
would have loads of friends.
would i be popular.
would i be going to a good school.
now,
i see people,
their lives,
their blogs,
and wonder,
would i be like them,
if i took a different path?
they look happy.
well,
they always do,
annoyingly so.
with their little emoticons
at the end of every freaking sentence.
how they would underline
and italics
and bold
and color
shoutouts
like happy birthday,
say it to them in person.
it's called sincerity,
i'm different.
i don't put emoticons.
i don't wish alot of people happy birthday.,
i'm not popular.
i'm not always
annoyingly
happy.
i dare to say something.
i dare to spell it out.
so it voices down to this.
i'm different.
i've made mistakes.
i ponder over things.
i know more than
i probably should.
i think to much.
i'm not popular.
i have good friends.
am i happy?
am i happy?
will i finally be able to answer that question?
All I Want For Christmas Is
Chocolate with Popping Candy.
Buffy Dvds (you can just tell me where to get them.)
Teal Hoodie with Zip.
Lose 5kg.(a girl can dream.)
Loads Of Money.
Bags Of Marshmallows.
New Bag.(Preferably not white)
New Purse.
Buffy Comics.
Accessories.
Money.
MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT.
Not Keychains.
Not Stuff Toys.
Not Things I'll Never Use.
Not Face Shop Nail Polish.
Not Cards.
Not You.
Not Clothes.
Buffy Dvds (you can just tell me where to get them.)
Teal Hoodie with Zip.
Lose 5kg.(a girl can dream.)
Loads Of Money.
Bags Of Marshmallows.
New Bag.(Preferably not white)
New Purse.
Buffy Comics.
Accessories.
Money.
MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT.
Not Keychains.
Not Stuff Toys.
Not Things I'll Never Use.
Not Face Shop Nail Polish.
Not Cards.
Not You.
Not Clothes.
Brunch
why did you have to throw your magnificent calves at me?
you know you have a punter's leg.
well, why did you have to throw your beautiful boobs at me?
you know you have,
boobs.
just admit it. you came here trying to seduce me.
seduce you? you seduced me.
you sat down next to me and took most of your pants off.
you went to San Fransisco for three months.
how was that seducing you?
well, it's not. but i'm still mad about it.
you know you have a punter's leg.
well, why did you have to throw your beautiful boobs at me?
you know you have,
boobs.
just admit it. you came here trying to seduce me.
seduce you? you seduced me.
you sat down next to me and took most of your pants off.
you went to San Fransisco for three months.
how was that seducing you?
well, it's not. but i'm still mad about it.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
no. 0100
1 month and 5 days.
so of the many things i've been in life,
from the
carefree lame-o,
to the
emo lame-o.
from the
happy school girl,
that everyone liked,
to the
bitchy school girl,
that not everybody liked.
from the
confident friend,
to the
self conscious stranger.
from the
psycho
to the
therapist.
you know what,
i'm just 14.
i have to start a life,
that doesn't end up
with me solving
other people's problems,
but me solving my own.
not being tired
all the time,
and concluding
that i got tired,
for all the wrong reasons,
having no accomplishments.
so how was the trip you may ask.
i found out more than i wanted to.
i realised more than i wished i had.
i have to live my life now,
not as much as paradise there,
but i got pulled out of it again.
i know everything's the same,
or i feel it should be,
but i feel,
i don't know,
weird,
different,
changed.
i say things,
i do things
that i don't understand.
i feel like i'm drunk again,
why am i saying these things?
why am i feeling these things?
i used to be the person who would
say fine
and ok
to anything you wanted me to do.
anything anyone wanted me to do.
i was willing to do so,
and i was happy,
selfless.
now,
i don't,
i wouldn't want to walk
a bit more,
because that meant
I had to walk home alone,
and that you would
have the convenience.
what's become of me?
why am i acting this way?
i don't want to change.
yet,
i know it can't be avoided,
and also,
i want to stay the same,
what will become of me?
will i be the person
who people despise?
or the person
that will be loved?
or like her?
desperate?
attention-seeking?
aloof?
irritating?
self-pitied?
or confident?
happy?
well-loved?
will i be alone?
so of the many things i've been in life,
from the
carefree lame-o,
to the
emo lame-o.
from the
happy school girl,
that everyone liked,
to the
bitchy school girl,
that not everybody liked.
from the
confident friend,
to the
self conscious stranger.
from the
psycho
to the
therapist.
you know what,
i'm just 14.
i have to start a life,
that doesn't end up
with me solving
other people's problems,
but me solving my own.
not being tired
all the time,
and concluding
that i got tired,
for all the wrong reasons,
having no accomplishments.
so how was the trip you may ask.
i found out more than i wanted to.
i realised more than i wished i had.
i have to live my life now,
not as much as paradise there,
but i got pulled out of it again.
i know everything's the same,
or i feel it should be,
but i feel,
i don't know,
weird,
different,
changed.
i say things,
i do things
that i don't understand.
i feel like i'm drunk again,
why am i saying these things?
why am i feeling these things?
i used to be the person who would
say fine
and ok
to anything you wanted me to do.
anything anyone wanted me to do.
i was willing to do so,
and i was happy,
selfless.
now,
i don't,
i wouldn't want to walk
a bit more,
because that meant
I had to walk home alone,
and that you would
have the convenience.
what's become of me?
why am i acting this way?
i don't want to change.
yet,
i know it can't be avoided,
and also,
i want to stay the same,
what will become of me?
will i be the person
who people despise?
or the person
that will be loved?
or like her?
desperate?
attention-seeking?
aloof?
irritating?
self-pitied?
or confident?
happy?
well-loved?
will i be alone?
Friday, November 28, 2008
Jennifer Love Hewitt.
Love like your heart's never been broken,
Live like there's no tomorrow,
Dance like no one's watching.
Live like there's no tomorrow,
Dance like no one's watching.
Phone Call
All you can do is give a little respect,
not like you earned anything,
why is it that you get help,
don't say it like you deserve it.
not like you earned anything,
why is it that you get help,
don't say it like you deserve it.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
Comeback
i have to remember
that everyone has flaws,
that everyone is selfish,
that we are all still human.
i'm 14.
i feel alot older than that.
i've complained,
about me being fat,
and ugly.
but i have to be happy that i'm normal.
my legs are fat,
i have 2 legs to run,
my tummy has tires,
i have a stomach to do sit-ups,
my face is ugly,
i have a smile that can make me happy,
i'm normal,
that can make me,
that much more,
extraordinary.
that everyone has flaws,
that everyone is selfish,
that we are all still human.
i'm 14.
i feel alot older than that.
i've complained,
about me being fat,
and ugly.
but i have to be happy that i'm normal.
my legs are fat,
i have 2 legs to run,
my tummy has tires,
i have a stomach to do sit-ups,
my face is ugly,
i have a smile that can make me happy,
i'm normal,
that can make me,
that much more,
extraordinary.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
The Harsh Light of Day.
it's raining,
to give hope
to the people
who want their problems
will be washed away.
it's night,
to give peace
to the people,
who had a bad day,
and let them rest,
for a better day.
it's cold,
to cool down
the people,
who are fuming,
who need to chill.
it's funny,
how bad things have a good side to them.
to give hope
to the people
who want their problems
will be washed away.
it's night,
to give peace
to the people,
who had a bad day,
and let them rest,
for a better day.
it's cold,
to cool down
the people,
who are fuming,
who need to chill.
it's funny,
how bad things have a good side to them.
Unwanted Unhappiness
so i've been pondering
that there may have been
a mistake,
being paranoid about
something that
i should be very happy about,
maybe i'm scared that,
if i screw up,
everything will go down the drain.
why can't i understand,
that,
hey,
i did it.
this was,
and is
what i wanted from the start,
if i continue to think,
and be paranoid about
what others think,
i'll really screw up,
she said i was in.
that means,
i AM in.
she picked me,
cause i stood out.
and i have to do my best,
to show her,
she picked me
for the right reason.
all i have to do now
is give up fast food.
that there may have been
a mistake,
being paranoid about
something that
i should be very happy about,
maybe i'm scared that,
if i screw up,
everything will go down the drain.
why can't i understand,
that,
hey,
i did it.
this was,
and is
what i wanted from the start,
if i continue to think,
and be paranoid about
what others think,
i'll really screw up,
she said i was in.
that means,
i AM in.
she picked me,
cause i stood out.
and i have to do my best,
to show her,
she picked me
for the right reason.
all i have to do now
is give up fast food.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Mirth.
I don't deny,
I'm happy.
I'll admit,
I'm happy.
yet,
something's missing.
how can you feel
the true happiness,
if it's not perfect?
I'm happy.
I'll admit,
I'm happy.
yet,
something's missing.
how can you feel
the true happiness,
if it's not perfect?
Dot Dot Dot.
So time goes by,
silence,
knowing,
feeling,
thinking about the most irrelevant things,
having nothing to say,
yet it isn't awkward,
it feels,
comfortable,
as if,
it has been
like this all this while.
a little,
surreal.
and a little unrealistic,
how people can be one way,
and in the next minute,
totally different.
what happened to the person,
who would have so much in common with me,
and rant pathetic nothings
just because
we trusted each other.
where is the person
who would make
the most noise,
on the littlest thing.
where was the person,
who never fails to make me laugh,
the person who would just
dance,
and sing out of no where,
so maybe,
we're tired.
so we'll be quiet,
we'll talk about same things over again,
and i'll ponder what's going on
in that neon pink brain of yours.
and i'll enjoy it,
and wonder if you do to,
while you sit there,
talking to yourself.
"talk to me when you have a nice skin colour, coloured man."
-tofu butt
silence,
knowing,
feeling,
thinking about the most irrelevant things,
having nothing to say,
yet it isn't awkward,
it feels,
comfortable,
as if,
it has been
like this all this while.
a little,
surreal.
and a little unrealistic,
how people can be one way,
and in the next minute,
totally different.
what happened to the person,
who would have so much in common with me,
and rant pathetic nothings
just because
we trusted each other.
where is the person
who would make
the most noise,
on the littlest thing.
where was the person,
who never fails to make me laugh,
the person who would just
dance,
and sing out of no where,
so maybe,
we're tired.
so we'll be quiet,
we'll talk about same things over again,
and i'll ponder what's going on
in that neon pink brain of yours.
and i'll enjoy it,
and wonder if you do to,
while you sit there,
talking to yourself.
"talk to me when you have a nice skin colour, coloured man."
-tofu butt
Monday, November 17, 2008
Found It.
and i drifted off to sleep,
i could feel it,
i could feel myself
slowly slipping,
losing control
to my sub-consciousness,
accept,
i was very much aware
of me falling into this darkness,
like the center of my soul,
my body.
felt funny.
i could feel it,
i could feel myself
slowly slipping,
losing control
to my sub-consciousness,
accept,
i was very much aware
of me falling into this darkness,
like the center of my soul,
my body.
felt funny.
Those Two Little Things on a Roaches' Head.
There's a reason for everything.
a reason for why
the jail bars are
made of metal.
a reason for why
we get rest by
sleeping on a bed.
a reason for why
cockroaches have
feelers,
and we don't.
feelers,
are the 5 senses
to the cockroach.
without it,
they can't see,
feel,
taste,
smell,
hear.
they won't be able to survive,
pluck out a cockroach's feelers,
and it will die.
that's how they live,
they have to little things
that twitch,
and move
to understand
what's happening around them.
human's are not so fortunate,
they don't have feeler's
to understand
something else,
they have a brain,
that's 97% unused.
3% confusing.
we can't tell all the time
what someone else
is thinking
feeling,
what they know,
how they show their emotions,
anything.
so it makes it
that much harder
to express your confusion,
and clear it.
this is why misunderstandings happen.
this is also why
we should try to
clear the misunderstandings,
we could have avoided,
by speaking your mind,
and be mindful of
both what you say
and
how you say it.
and not second guessing the person,
why can't we give the person
the benefit of the doubt.
a reason for why
the jail bars are
made of metal.
a reason for why
we get rest by
sleeping on a bed.
a reason for why
cockroaches have
feelers,
and we don't.
feelers,
are the 5 senses
to the cockroach.
without it,
they can't see,
feel,
taste,
smell,
hear.
they won't be able to survive,
pluck out a cockroach's feelers,
and it will die.
that's how they live,
they have to little things
that twitch,
and move
to understand
what's happening around them.
human's are not so fortunate,
they don't have feeler's
to understand
something else,
they have a brain,
that's 97% unused.
3% confusing.
we can't tell all the time
what someone else
is thinking
feeling,
what they know,
how they show their emotions,
anything.
so it makes it
that much harder
to express your confusion,
and clear it.
this is why misunderstandings happen.
this is also why
we should try to
clear the misunderstandings,
we could have avoided,
by speaking your mind,
and be mindful of
both what you say
and
how you say it.
and not second guessing the person,
why can't we give the person
the benefit of the doubt.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
no. 0082
I don't want
to be trying too hard
for something
i know
i can do well in
because
that'll just come off as
cheesy little thing.
to be trying too hard
for something
i know
i can do well in
because
that'll just come off as
cheesy little thing.
Bull
when she told me
how happy they were,
it made me feel good inside,
not really about them,
but what i did
that made them happy.
for once in my life,
i did the right thing.
no one can go living
saying
they never
regretted anything
they did in their lives
everyone will live with
the regret
of knowing,
there had to be another way.
how happy they were,
it made me feel good inside,
not really about them,
but what i did
that made them happy.
for once in my life,
i did the right thing.
no one can go living
saying
they never
regretted anything
they did in their lives
everyone will live with
the regret
of knowing,
there had to be another way.
internet gay
you sound like this horny teenager
with raging hormones
with serious acne
and watches porn on the internet
cause you can't get laid
with raging hormones
with serious acne
and watches porn on the internet
cause you can't get laid
Too Much Therapy
words;
a unit of language, consisting of one or more spoken sounds or their written representation, that functions as a principal carrier of meaning. Words are composed of one or more morphemes and are either the smallest units susceptible of independent use or consist of two or three such units combined under certain linking conditions, as with the loss of primary accent that distinguishes blackʹbirdʹ from blackʹ birdʹ. Words are usually separated by spaces in writing, and are distinguished phonologically, as by accent, in many languages.
words, are so much more than that.
words;
can hurt,
can spread love,
can smile,
can be interpreted,
can be interpreted wrongly,
can be toned down,
can mean everything
you do not want the person to know,
can say everything you want,
words,
a magical thing,
that have 2 faces,
of the same thing,
words,
are the things we take for granted,
words,
are the things
that doesn't have a
"DANGER use carefully!!"
sign on it.
which makes it that
much more important
about using them.
words,
are the things that
you use to express
yourself,
so people will understand
what you are thinking,
and feeling.
and what you want them
to feel.
a unit of language, consisting of one or more spoken sounds or their written representation, that functions as a principal carrier of meaning. Words are composed of one or more morphemes and are either the smallest units susceptible of independent use or consist of two or three such units combined under certain linking conditions, as with the loss of primary accent that distinguishes blackʹbirdʹ from blackʹ birdʹ. Words are usually separated by spaces in writing, and are distinguished phonologically, as by accent, in many languages.
words, are so much more than that.
words;
can hurt,
can spread love,
can smile,
can be interpreted,
can be interpreted wrongly,
can be toned down,
can mean everything
you do not want the person to know,
can say everything you want,
words,
a magical thing,
that have 2 faces,
of the same thing,
words,
are the things we take for granted,
words,
are the things
that doesn't have a
"DANGER use carefully!!"
sign on it.
which makes it that
much more important
about using them.
words,
are the things that
you use to express
yourself,
so people will understand
what you are thinking,
and feeling.
and what you want them
to feel.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Corny Writing
classy pretty.
you really mean that?
-thanks.
don't take compliments
for granted,
put your heart into it,
mean it,
and make someone's day.
it also helps
when you know
when to tell the truth.
you really mean that?
-thanks.
don't take compliments
for granted,
put your heart into it,
mean it,
and make someone's day.
it also helps
when you know
when to tell the truth.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Wipe Your Bottom
Star Faggotry,
stop worrying
and doing so much,
and just rest,
you are a great guy,
don't let it go down the drain
by going crazy,
learn to say
STOP I'M NOT GONNA HELP YOU YOU LITTLE FUCKING GAY.
sounds like a campaign.
stop worrying
and doing so much,
and just rest,
you are a great guy,
don't let it go down the drain
by going crazy,
learn to say
STOP I'M NOT GONNA HELP YOU YOU LITTLE FUCKING GAY.
sounds like a campaign.
Love Remains the Same
A thousand times I've seen you standing
Gravity like lunar landing
You make me want to run till' I find you
I shut the world away from here
I drift to you, you're all I hear
As everything we know fades to black
Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending
I never thought that I
Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
But love remains the same
I find a place where we escape
Take you with me for the space
The city buzz sounds just like a fridge
I walk the streets through seven bars
I have to find just where you are
The faces seem to blur
They're all the same
Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending
I never thought that I
Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
But love remains the same
So much more to say
So much to be done
Don't you trick me out
We shall overcome
It's all left still to play
We should've had the sun
Could have been inside
Instead we're over here
Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending
Too much time too long defending
You and I are done pretending
I never thought that I
Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
Everything will change
I, oh I,
I wish this could last forever
I, oh I,
As if we could last forever
Love remains the same
Love remains the same
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
City Of Angels.
It's about showing people there's still love and hope in the world.
people from
all over the world
come here
because they
don't fit anywhere else.
people from
all over the world
come here
because they
don't fit anywhere else.
Hush Little Baby.
i'm still waiting,
for you to sing to me,
my lullaby,
so i can sleep again.
hush little baby,
don't say a word,
mama's gonna buy
you a mocking bird.
if that mocking bird don't sing,
mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring.
if that diamond ring turns brass,
mama's gonna buy you a looking glass.
if that looking glass gets broke,
mama's gonna buy you a billy goat.
if that billy goat won't pull,
mama's gonna buy you a cart and bull,
if that cart and bull fall down,
you'll still be the best little baby in town.
by memory,
if i do say so myself.
for you to sing to me,
my lullaby,
so i can sleep again.
hush little baby,
don't say a word,
mama's gonna buy
you a mocking bird.
if that mocking bird don't sing,
mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring.
if that diamond ring turns brass,
mama's gonna buy you a looking glass.
if that looking glass gets broke,
mama's gonna buy you a billy goat.
if that billy goat won't pull,
mama's gonna buy you a cart and bull,
if that cart and bull fall down,
you'll still be the best little baby in town.
by memory,
if i do say so myself.
Mrs. Therapy.
i amazes me,
how something simple
like drinking coffee
and eating ice-cream
can lead to such a great friendship.
people make mistakes,
we learn,
and then move on.
if we don't forgive,
and forget,
then ask yourself,
what are friends for?
how something simple
like drinking coffee
and eating ice-cream
can lead to such a great friendship.
people make mistakes,
we learn,
and then move on.
if we don't forgive,
and forget,
then ask yourself,
what are friends for?
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Hello Stranger.
Friends were created for a reason,
they were created to be the family you never had,
to be the ones who would take you by the hand,
when you family couldn't,
they were the ones who would fight with you,
and give you the challenge to make peace with,
because they weren't family,
but they were always worth it.
they were created to be the family you never had,
to be the ones who would take you by the hand,
when you family couldn't,
they were the ones who would fight with you,
and give you the challenge to make peace with,
because they weren't family,
but they were always worth it.
Dark Red Nails.
everything happens for a reason.
do you notice
they only say that
about the bad things
that happen?
do you notice
they only say that
about the bad things
that happen?
Angelus
sing a song to me,
and tell me how
you really feel,
for when he found out,
that he had already fallen for her,
it was too late,
they were already enemies,
rather poetic...
in a maudlin sort of way.
i know what they are lacking,
emotion,
feeling,
the gist that made people
see everyday,
see this,
was because i was spelling out
something that i felt,
not something that
i could not conceive.
and tell me how
you really feel,
for when he found out,
that he had already fallen for her,
it was too late,
they were already enemies,
rather poetic...
in a maudlin sort of way.
i know what they are lacking,
emotion,
feeling,
the gist that made people
see everyday,
see this,
was because i was spelling out
something that i felt,
not something that
i could not conceive.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Krysta Now
We're a bisexual nation living in denial. All because of a bunch of nerds. A bunch of nerds who got off a boat in the 15th century and decided that sex was something to be ashamed of. All the Pilgrims did was ruin the American Indian orgy of freedom.
Backtrack.
"everything happens for a reason,
so maybe,
just maybe,
i'm supposed to learn something from this."
she said i looked better in the past,
when i didn't have my crying fits,
when i was happy.
maybe then,
i didn't think so much.
maybe,
just maybe,
this was what i was supposed to learn.
true happiness is the best make up,
it's also the rarest.
so maybe,
just maybe,
i'm supposed to learn something from this."
she said i looked better in the past,
when i didn't have my crying fits,
when i was happy.
maybe then,
i didn't think so much.
maybe,
just maybe,
this was what i was supposed to learn.
true happiness is the best make up,
it's also the rarest.
no. 0056
LAYER 1: ON THE OUTSIDE.
1. Name: Yan Shan.
2. Birth date: 9 September.
3. Current status: Single.
4. Eye colour: Brown.
5. Hair colour: Brown.
6. Righty or lefty?: Right.
LAYER 2: ON THE INSIDE.
1. My heritage: Chinese.
2. Fears: Spiders, Cockroaches, Beetles, Ants, Flies, Bees, Unknown Insects.
3. My weaknesses:Fucking Emotional.
4. My perfect pizza:Hawaiian.
LAYER 3: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW
1. My thoughts: Money, Shopping, Death, Australia, Food.
2. My bedtime:1+
3. My most missed memory: Sleeping in.
LAYER 4: MY PICK
1. Pepsi or coke? : Coke.
2. Single or group dates? : Single.
3. Adidas or Nike? : Nike.
4. Tea or nestea? :Tea.
5. Chocolate or vanilla? :Depends.
6. Cappuccino or coffee? :Cappuccino.
LAYER 5: DO YOU
1. Smoke: NO.
2. Curse: YES.
3. Take a shower: YES.
4. Have a crush: NO.
5. Think you have been in love: NO.
6. Go to sch: YES.
7. Want to get married: YES.
8. Believe in yourself: NO.
9. A health freak?: YES.
LAYER 6: IN THE PAST
1. Drank alchohol: no.
2. Went to a mall: yes.
3. Been on a stage: yes.
4. Eaten sushi: yes.
5. Dyed your hair: no.
LAYER 7 : HAVE YOU EVER...
1. played a stripping game: Nope.
2. changed who you were to fit in: Yes.
LAYER 8: AGE YOU'RE HOPING...
1. to get married: 26.
2. get a job: 21.
LAYER 9: IN A BOY
1. Best eye colour: Dark Blue/ Grey/ Brown/ Green.
2. Best hair colour: Brown.
3. Short hair or long hair: Short.
LAYER 10: WHAT WERE YOU DOING...
1. One minute ago: The Quiz.
2. One hour ago: Tv
3. Hours ago: Sleeping.
4. One month ago: Sleeping.
5. A year ago: Sleeping.
LAYER 11: FINISH THE SENTENCE
1. I love: Food, and Money and Shopping.
2. I feel: Funny.
3. I hate: PMS.
4. I hide: My Pimples.
5. I hate: Fats.
6. I miss: Laughing.
7. I need: Chocolates, and Ice-cream, and BnJs with caramel.
Layer 12: THE NEXT 3 PEOPLE
1.Jane
2.Xue Yi
3.Amanda
1. Name: Yan Shan.
2. Birth date: 9 September.
3. Current status: Single.
4. Eye colour: Brown.
5. Hair colour: Brown.
6. Righty or lefty?: Right.
LAYER 2: ON THE INSIDE.
1. My heritage: Chinese.
2. Fears: Spiders, Cockroaches, Beetles, Ants, Flies, Bees, Unknown Insects.
3. My weaknesses:Fucking Emotional.
4. My perfect pizza:Hawaiian.
LAYER 3: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW
1. My thoughts: Money, Shopping, Death, Australia, Food.
2. My bedtime:1+
3. My most missed memory: Sleeping in.
LAYER 4: MY PICK
1. Pepsi or coke? : Coke.
2. Single or group dates? : Single.
3. Adidas or Nike? : Nike.
4. Tea or nestea? :Tea.
5. Chocolate or vanilla? :Depends.
6. Cappuccino or coffee? :Cappuccino.
LAYER 5: DO YOU
1. Smoke: NO.
2. Curse: YES.
3. Take a shower: YES.
4. Have a crush: NO.
5. Think you have been in love: NO.
6. Go to sch: YES.
7. Want to get married: YES.
8. Believe in yourself: NO.
9. A health freak?: YES.
LAYER 6: IN THE PAST
1. Drank alchohol: no.
2. Went to a mall: yes.
3. Been on a stage: yes.
4. Eaten sushi: yes.
5. Dyed your hair: no.
LAYER 7 : HAVE YOU EVER...
1. played a stripping game: Nope.
2. changed who you were to fit in: Yes.
LAYER 8: AGE YOU'RE HOPING...
1. to get married: 26.
2. get a job: 21.
LAYER 9: IN A BOY
1. Best eye colour: Dark Blue/ Grey/ Brown/ Green.
2. Best hair colour: Brown.
3. Short hair or long hair: Short.
LAYER 10: WHAT WERE YOU DOING...
1. One minute ago: The Quiz.
2. One hour ago: Tv
3. Hours ago: Sleeping.
4. One month ago: Sleeping.
5. A year ago: Sleeping.
LAYER 11: FINISH THE SENTENCE
1. I love: Food, and Money and Shopping.
2. I feel: Funny.
3. I hate: PMS.
4. I hide: My Pimples.
5. I hate: Fats.
6. I miss: Laughing.
7. I need: Chocolates, and Ice-cream, and BnJs with caramel.
Layer 12: THE NEXT 3 PEOPLE
1.Jane
2.Xue Yi
3.Amanda
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Just Need 5 mins.
i just realised,
hey,
you know what.
if i'm sober enough to know,
i have 2 of the most amazing friends
i could ever hope for,
i should be sober enough
to snap out of anything,
i don't want to
face death one day,
and have my life flash
right before my eyes,
and say
"i've got to get myself a life"
i don't want to live a life of regret,
losing my true friends,
to moments of
stupidity.
so no more complaining.
you're gonna see a change.
hey,
you know what.
if i'm sober enough to know,
i have 2 of the most amazing friends
i could ever hope for,
i should be sober enough
to snap out of anything,
i don't want to
face death one day,
and have my life flash
right before my eyes,
and say
"i've got to get myself a life"
i don't want to live a life of regret,
losing my true friends,
to moments of
stupidity.
so no more complaining.
you're gonna see a change.
Friday, November 7, 2008
Excuses
maybe,
maybe i'm saying i'm tired,
because i have nothing else to say.
maybe i'm saying i'm tired.
because deep down,
i am.
maybe i'm saying i'm tired,
because i have nothing else to say.
maybe i'm saying i'm tired.
because deep down,
i am.
Hope.
i'm sorry that i made you feel that way,
maybe in this crazy drunk state of mind,
there's still some sanity left.
maybe in this crazy drunk state of mind,
there's still some sanity left.
No. 3 Foundation
i'm putting on a costume.
i'm putting on a mask.
i can't get over it,
i'm trying,
i'm really trying.
i should shut up,
and stop complaining.
i'm not tired.
i know i'm not,
i don't know
what the hell is wrong with me,
i know being tired is just an excuse.
i don't know what's affecting me,
i don't like it.
i don't like
not knowing what's wrong.
i hate it,
i hate it that
i'm lying.
i hate it that
i'm selfish,
and immature,
i'm not thinking properly,
i know that.
this is like,
a dream or something.
or a really bad
hangover i can't snap out of.
can you just tell me things will be alright?
i know i'm quieter,
compared to you guys,
i don't feel left out.
i don't.
i really don't.
or do i?
am i lying?
without even knowing it?
am i going psycho?
am i real?
am i just some figment of an imagination?
am i screaming?
do you notice?
am i dreaming?
am i singing?
is it a sad song?
maybe i'm really tired,
can you just hold me,
and tell me,
it'll be ok?
i'm putting on a mask.
i can't get over it,
i'm trying,
i'm really trying.
i should shut up,
and stop complaining.
i'm not tired.
i know i'm not,
i don't know
what the hell is wrong with me,
i know being tired is just an excuse.
i don't know what's affecting me,
i don't like it.
i don't like
not knowing what's wrong.
i hate it,
i hate it that
i'm lying.
i hate it that
i'm selfish,
and immature,
i'm not thinking properly,
i know that.
this is like,
a dream or something.
or a really bad
hangover i can't snap out of.
can you just tell me things will be alright?
i know i'm quieter,
compared to you guys,
i don't feel left out.
i don't.
i really don't.
or do i?
am i lying?
without even knowing it?
am i going psycho?
am i real?
am i just some figment of an imagination?
am i screaming?
do you notice?
am i dreaming?
am i singing?
is it a sad song?
maybe i'm really tired,
can you just hold me,
and tell me,
it'll be ok?
Little Things,
it's the little things that matter,
and it's the little things we notice,
the little gestures,
the little things you say,
people notice more than you think,
my darling,
just listen,
maybe you'll finally be happy about yourself.
and it's the little things we notice,
the little gestures,
the little things you say,
people notice more than you think,
my darling,
just listen,
maybe you'll finally be happy about yourself.
warning.
i talk about the random things
i think about the random things
i know about the random things
i ponder about the random things
watch out,
i may be thinking
more than you want me to know.
i think about the random things
i know about the random things
i ponder about the random things
watch out,
i may be thinking
more than you want me to know.
White Chocolate
i like it because it's pure,
white,
yummy,
sweet,
melty,
it won't make you sick,
and guess what,
chocolates are good for you,
but who the hell would eat chocolates
when you have a fever,
sore throat,
or ulcer?
only the crazy ones.
white,
yummy,
sweet,
melty,
it won't make you sick,
and guess what,
chocolates are good for you,
but who the hell would eat chocolates
when you have a fever,
sore throat,
or ulcer?
only the crazy ones.
Bitching Again.
so,
you do notice,
so,
you do care,
so,
you don't really show it,
so,
you should just listen,
so,
i'll keep quiet,
so,
you'll be happier.
you do notice,
so,
you do care,
so,
you don't really show it,
so,
you should just listen,
so,
i'll keep quiet,
so,
you'll be happier.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Homo Sapiens.
so we spend 3/4 of our lives
searching for our other half,
we are never happy,
we still feel empty,
maybe,
we feel that
there's something more,
something else to gain,
something to find.
something that's
more,
satisfying.
satisfying.
we won't find something we want,
without wanting more,
satisfied,
an overstatement,
it's only normal that we want more,
normal that,
we will never have enough,
normal that,
we will think,
out there,
some where,
is something worth the trouble,
we won't rest for
"just enough"
we'll be
unsatisfied.
that's just,
human nature.
human nature,
craving for perfection,
wanting more,
greed,
pride,
anger,
lust,
envy,
gluttony,
sloth,
the way someone only looks
at the bad points of others.
the way,
we crave everything good,
and won't stop until we get perfection.
the way,
we won't accept change,
or anything negative.
the way we talk bad about others,
but would hate it if others did it to you.
you see,
we are human,
only human,
why do we want more,
when we have so much?
humans,
do you realise,
no matter how much
we fight,
beg,
try
or want,
we will always be alone,
a single time bomb,
till we die,
absolute,
alone.
searching for our other half,
we are never happy,
we still feel empty,
maybe,
we feel that
there's something more,
something else to gain,
something to find.
something that's
more,
satisfying.
satisfying.
we won't find something we want,
without wanting more,
satisfied,
an overstatement,
it's only normal that we want more,
normal that,
we will never have enough,
normal that,
we will think,
out there,
some where,
is something worth the trouble,
we won't rest for
"just enough"
we'll be
unsatisfied.
that's just,
human nature.
human nature,
craving for perfection,
wanting more,
greed,
pride,
anger,
lust,
envy,
gluttony,
sloth,
the way someone only looks
at the bad points of others.
the way,
we crave everything good,
and won't stop until we get perfection.
the way,
we won't accept change,
or anything negative.
the way we talk bad about others,
but would hate it if others did it to you.
you see,
we are human,
only human,
why do we want more,
when we have so much?
humans,
do you realise,
no matter how much
we fight,
beg,
try
or want,
we will always be alone,
a single time bomb,
till we die,
absolute,
alone.
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